Sunday, January 1, 2012

Nothing to Say

The past 12 months have been crazy. 

To say the least. 

This time last year, I decided to join my friend Alece in her One Word 2011 Challenge. I thought about and prayed about what one word God had for me in 2011. 

(We) came up with CHANGE

I had no idea what I was in for. 

I started college (again) at age 42, jumped through so many hoops trying to get our son, Joseph, the assistance he needs to function well and integrate with society. He has autism. Graduated our oldest son, Allen-Michael, from high school and into college life & responsibilities. I had shoulder surgery. Shawn had a cardiac event that led to him having surgery to remove a HUGE blood clot from the radial artery in his arm. all the while maintaining a 4.0 GPA, and as president of MASO and secretary of our Student Ambassadors.

You may be thinking: Wow, what a braggart! Overachiever! Why are you telling us this??? 

Well, here's why. I was feeling really pretty good about myself, as you might imagine.  All the way until the beginning of November when I attended the Women of Faith conference. I really felt like God was speaking to me that weekend. So many great speakers with so much wisdom to share.

I was so convicted by Patsy Clairmont and her words on talking too much.(ouch) 
Not letting other people shine. (guilty as charged) 

The problem is that I didn't listen. (and i should have)

As many of you know, I am just finishing my program as a Medical Assistant. Part of that program is to participate in a student externship at the site of a working lab or physicians office. I was placed at a physicians office. I thought things were going great. Then I received a phone call from our externship coordinator. 

I was FIRED from the site.

For making an unnecessary (albeit true) comment. 

I was devastated. But my instructors were working with me because of my past history, grades, citizenship and so on, so they placed me at a new site. I loved it. It was at a medical group with a lab. I was able to get experience in all kinds of areas. I thought to myself, "things are finally going great".

Then I got the phone call. Once again I was being fired from my site for an unnecessary comment. This time there was to be no finishing the externship. I flunked the class and will have to retake it.

I am humbled. 

In hindsight, I can see the importance of this discipline, right now, in this moment. I can also see how this could have been avoided if I had just LISTENED to Patsy.(God-using little ol' Patsy)

So, my OneWord365 is LISTEN. 

Merriam Webster defines the word listen as: to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration. Synonyms include: attend, hark, hearkenhear, heed, mind.

These are all great words to help me focus, and use on a daily basis. 

I am praying that 2012 will continue to bring change and show me ways to listen with my Fathers ears and heart. 

"Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin." Proverbs 10:14

Choosing Joy,

2 comments: said...

Listening is so hard, but so necessary for intimacy. listening runs deep. it is also active. such a hard word when so much noise is all around. Excited for your year!

Pamela said...

Thank you, Tracee. Such an important quality in any relationship. If i can learn how to truly listen, then i won' t make stupid comments, because it won' t be about me. It will be about the person i'm listening to.