I Did It!

I can't believe I finally did it! I completed my externship hours. Saturday was my last day.

My final task is to have an exit interview, then I will be an official graduate.

This should take place before Friday morning.

It has been quite a year. One that I could not have made it through without the love and support of my awesome husband, crazy flexible kiddo's, my family, especially my mother-in-law, Loretta, and sister-in-law, Stephanie. I love you all more than you know.

Lets talk about how encouraging my twitter and blog friends have been. Uh-may-zing!!! Could not have done it without you. (not mentioning any names, but you know who you are!) I love and cherish you and your friendship...each and every one of you.

To my Instructors who have gone way beyond what is even rational to see me succeed. Thank you just does not seem adequate.

Last, but certainly not least, the mercy and strength of my Lord and Savior. Without whom, i am nothing. Thank you more than words.

Onward and Upward...

Choosing Joy,
pamela

Nothing to Say

The past 12 months have been crazy. 

To say the least. 

This time last year, I decided to join my friend Alece in her One Word 2011 Challenge. I thought about and prayed about what one word God had for me in 2011. 

(We) came up with CHANGE. 

I had no idea what I was in for. 

I started college (again) at age 42, jumped through so many hoops trying to get our son, Joseph, the assistance he needs to function well and integrate with society. He has autism. Graduated our oldest son, Allen-Michael, from high school and into college life & responsibilities. I had shoulder surgery. Shawn had a cardiac event that led to him having surgery to remove a HUGE blood clot from the radial artery in his arm. all the while maintaining a 4.0 GPA, and as president of MASO and secretary of our Student Ambassadors.

You may be thinking: Wow, what a braggart! Overachiever! Why are you telling us this??? 

Well, here's why. I was feeling really pretty good about myself, as you might imagine.  All the way until the beginning of November when I attended the Women of Faith conference. I really felt like God was speaking to me that weekend. So many great speakers with so much wisdom to share.

I was so convicted by Patsy Clairmont and her words on talking too much.(ouch) 

Not letting other people shine. (guilty as charged) 

The problem is that I didn't listen. (and i should have)

As many of you know, I am just finishing my program as a Medical Assistant. Part of that program is to participate in a student externship at the site of a working lab or physicians office. I was placed at a physicians office. I thought things were going great. Then I received a phone call from our externship coordinator. 

I was FIRED from the site.

For making an unnecessary (albeit true) comment. 

I was devastated. But my instructors were working with me because of my past history, grades, citizenship and so on, so they placed me at a new site. I loved it. It was at a medical group with a lab. I was able to get experience in all kinds of areas. I thought to myself, "things are finally going great".

Then I got the phone call. Once again I was being fired from my site for an unnecessary comment. This time there was to be no finishing the externship. I flunked the class and will have to retake it.

I am humbled. 

In hindsight, I can see the importance of this discipline, right now, in this moment. I can also see how this could have been avoided if I had just LISTENED to Patsy.(God-using little ol' Patsy)

So, my OneWord365 is LISTEN. 

Merriam Webster defines the word listen as: to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration. Synonyms include: attend, hark, hearken, hear, heed, mind.

These are all great words to help me focus, and use on a daily basis. 

I am praying that 2012 will continue to bring change and show me ways to listen with my Fathers ears and heart. 

"Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin." Proverbs 10:14

Choosing Joy,

Pamela

Over The Top

I have to say it.

The Women of Faith conference chose THE most appropriate title for their Kansas City, Missouri conference when they chose:

OVER THE TOP!

I do not even know where to start sharing the fabulousness of the past weekend. The speakers and musicians were as unbelievably unique and talented as they were diverse.

First, though, I have to share with you how I ended up at the Kansas City conference. As many of you know, I am a Booksneeze Blogger for Thomas Nelson Publishing. When the opportunity came up to apply to attend the Woman of Faith conference as a BB, I immediately jumped on it. I never really thought that they would pick me, but they did. The event I chose to attend, however, was in August and in Indianapolis, Indiana. The event date was the 18-19th, and on August 10th I had to have emergency surgery on my shoulder to repair a torn rotator cuff. Needless to say, attending the Indianpolis event was out of the question for me. I was devastated. I talked to the kind people at Booksneeze and Women of Faith. I was allowed to transfer my tickets to the Kansas City event. At the time, I had no idea why things would turn out the way they did. Now I can see that God's timing is perfect and I was supposed to be at this event, with my sister-in-law Stephanie, and hear these speakers and their messages.

Andy Andrews was straight up hilarious. I have not laughed that hard in a very long time. My ribs still ache four days later. Andy is a motivational speaker and best-selling author. He uses Godly principles to help people find and achieve their purpose in life. For all of Andy's A.D.D. and antics, he is a very wise guy. My favorite quote from him is this:

    "Fear is nothing but a misuse of the creative imagination God has placed inside of you."



For me, that is a huge realization. I learned much from Andy. As the only male speaker on the tour, his perspective was a treat.

Sandi Patty, Patsy Clairmont, Lisa Welchel, Brenda Warner and the fabulous Mandisa all seemed to be expressing a similar message. One that I believe God has been trying to get me to hear for awhile and I am just now beginning to receive. I am a little dense sometimes and have to be hit over the head with it before it sinks in.

There is much to be said about being quiet. 


To quote dear, sweet, Patsy "SHUT UP! In Jesus Name."  Proverbs 29:20 says "Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them." 


I really think God overtook Patsy's little body that day and was speaking directly to me. Then Lisa started talking about friendship. How to be a friend as well as find one that is suitable for you. 


WOW! Talk about a wake up call. I am not a very trusting friend. Sure, I will let you in to a certain extent, but the really hard stuff...NOPE. I have really been hurt before and it is hard to trust after that. It is really no excuse, but there you have it. I also get anxious and say stupid things to show how "intelligent" I am. You know...that I am observant of my friends likes and dislikes, etc. then I really stick my foot in it.


So, along those lines, I have a confession to make. Most of you know I am a twitter-a-holic. One of my favorite tweeps is Mandisa. (@MandisaOfficial) I was so blessed to meet Mandisa at Women of Faith. I was so excited. Not for the usual reasons, though. Not because she is a fabulous and award-winning singer. (although that is so true) Not because she was on American Idol and gave Simon amazing grace after he was so incredibly rude to her. The reason I was so excited is because she is so positive and joyful. Mandisa is a role model for me because she has overcome crazy obstacles in life and come out so much better for what she has been through. I owe her a HUGE apology. She was so lovely, came up and gave me a hug once she found out who I was. Like the dork that I am, I made a seriously stupid comment on something that I had no business commenting on. 


On that note, Mandisa, I am so, so, sorry for my lack of judgement. Please forgive me. God is truly dealing with me and my learning to turn on the filter. It has been a hard learned, but much needed lesson.


Regardless of my major faux pas, I am so thankful for the opportunity to attend and learn from these amazing teachers. I think Amy Grant summed up the experience perfectly in the lyrics from her song "Better than a Hallelujah:"

"Beautiful the mess we are,

the honest cries,

and breaking hearts,

are better than a hallelujah sometimes."

*Thomas Nelson {Booksneeze} and Women of Faith provided complimentary event tickets for myself and a friend in exchange for review of aforementioned event.

One Word 2011 (Part II)

Back in January i decided to participate in my friend Alece's challenge to find ONE WORD in 2011 that could define a goal for myself. Something i wanted to do differently or apply to my life to make a positive impact on the world around me.

Below is an update on how that has been going for me.

The word i chose was CHANGE.

Boy oh Boy...and change was what i was in for. i had no idea how i was to be stretched and challenged in the next several months that would follow.

i had no idea that i would have to completely change my way of thinking in order to adapt to being a college student again at age 43.

i never would have thought i would have to change every thing i thought i knew about parenting because my youngest son has Bipolar disorder, ASD/Aspergers syndrome, physically attacked me and tried to commit suicide.

i was not prepared for the news that my high school and home town were devastated and changed forever.  That so many of my friends would lose their homes, jobs, and we would all lose loved ones.

i also would not have had to change my reliance on my Heavenly Father.

My daddy.

The one who has carried me when i could not walk through this craziness on my own. The one who, despite all of my attempts to change the outcome of this mess i call life, loves me anyway.

So i'm going to keep on working on change. i think it is going to be just fine.