Can You Hear Me Now?

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Tenth Avenue North - Losing (NEW RADIO version with LYRICS!)

God is speaking these words into my heart today. What is He speaking into yours?

Choosing Joy,
Pamela

Where One Word 365 and People of The Second Chance Collide

It is so hard to believe this year is already more than half over.

The days have flown by like a leaf on the wind.
Gone, but not forgotten.

I have been thinking about my One Word 365 choice for 2012 a lot lately. Even more so today following our conversation last night on the People of the Second Chance live chat on twitter.

The questions asked by @potsc have really coincided with how I am listening to God and He has been speaking to me.

 POTSC ‏@POTSC

Have you ever been betrayed? #potsclive

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POTSC ‏@POTSC

How did/do you cope with betrayal? pain? fear? #potsclive

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For me, I cope with most things by listening to music. Ironically, that's usually when I hear God speaking to me the loudest. 

One of His largest megaphones for me is Matthew West. There is some connection between his lyrics and my heart experiences, that God has used to get me through some really tough times. He is truly using his talent as an instrument of God. 

Most memorably, one Wednesday evening after volunteering with our teen youth group, I was driving home and listening to a MW compilation CD (gotta love itunes) when the song "All the Broken Pieces" came on. 

It had been such a wretched day. 

At that point, Shawn and I had been separated for about 2 1/2 years. He had not let me see the boys in nearly a year. 

I was missing them terribly.

I was wrecked when I heard this song.

I cried out in prayer..."God, is this a message?"

"Are you telling me everything is going to be okay?"

I kept hitting the back button and playing the song over and over again. 

When I finally let the next song play, (keep in mind it was on random play AND a compilation CD)  the song that followed was

"MORE"

"Just a face in the city

Just a tear on a crowded street

But you are one in a million

And you belong to Me

And I want you to know

That I'm not letting go

Even when you come undone

I love you more than the sun

And the stars that I taught how to shine

You are mine, and you shine for me too

I love you yesterday and today

And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again

I love you more

I love you more" 

Okay. So I may not be a rocket scientist, but i'm pretty sure that was a sweet word from my God. 

And I don't know about you, but I'm gonna keep on listening for more.

How are you hearing from God? Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Choosing Joy,

Pamela

ps... Please check out Matthew's new song "Forgiveness", available on itunes July 10, 2012, its speaking volumes to me right now.

pss... I am building my confidence to share my story at www.potsc.com so prayers would be greatly appreciated. :) P

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I Did It!

I can't believe I finally did it! I completed my externship hours. Saturday was my last day.

My final task is to have an exit interview, then I will be an official graduate.

This should take place before Friday morning.

It has been quite a year. One that I could not have made it through without the love and support of my awesome husband, crazy flexible kiddo's, my family, especially my mother-in-law, Loretta, and sister-in-law, Stephanie. I love you all more than you know.

Lets talk about how encouraging my twitter and blog friends have been. Uh-may-zing!!! Could not have done it without you. (not mentioning any names, but you know who you are!) I love and cherish you and your friendship...each and every one of you.

To my Instructors who have gone way beyond what is even rational to see me succeed. Thank you just does not seem adequate.

Last, but certainly not least, the mercy and strength of my Lord and Savior. Without whom, i am nothing. Thank you more than words.

Onward and Upward...

Choosing Joy,
pamela

Listen Up

A few thoughts on One Word 365 and my word choice: LISTEN


I saw this quote on twitter the other day: @SoleHope "Well done is better than well said" Benjamin Franklin


I really heard that. 


I am not sure when it started. This insatiable need to prove that I am as smart, or as good, or as likable as other people. I realize that is my own insecurity. Its these insecurities that get me into trouble every time. Its when I am nervous or feel less than, like I need to fit in, that I say stupid things. 


So, my lesson today has been: a little less talk and a lot more action.


What are you learning on your journey today?


Choosing Joy,
Pamela

Nothing to Say

The past 12 months have been crazy. 

To say the least. 

This time last year, I decided to join my friend Alece in her One Word 2011 Challenge. I thought about and prayed about what one word God had for me in 2011. 

(We) came up with CHANGE. 

I had no idea what I was in for. 

I started college (again) at age 42, jumped through so many hoops trying to get our son, Joseph, the assistance he needs to function well and integrate with society. He has autism. Graduated our oldest son, Allen-Michael, from high school and into college life & responsibilities. I had shoulder surgery. Shawn had a cardiac event that led to him having surgery to remove a HUGE blood clot from the radial artery in his arm. all the while maintaining a 4.0 GPA, and as president of MASO and secretary of our Student Ambassadors.

You may be thinking: Wow, what a braggart! Overachiever! Why are you telling us this??? 

Well, here's why. I was feeling really pretty good about myself, as you might imagine.  All the way until the beginning of November when I attended the Women of Faith conference. I really felt like God was speaking to me that weekend. So many great speakers with so much wisdom to share.

I was so convicted by Patsy Clairmont and her words on talking too much.(ouch) 

Not letting other people shine. (guilty as charged) 

The problem is that I didn't listen. (and i should have)

As many of you know, I am just finishing my program as a Medical Assistant. Part of that program is to participate in a student externship at the site of a working lab or physicians office. I was placed at a physicians office. I thought things were going great. Then I received a phone call from our externship coordinator. 

I was FIRED from the site.

For making an unnecessary (albeit true) comment. 

I was devastated. But my instructors were working with me because of my past history, grades, citizenship and so on, so they placed me at a new site. I loved it. It was at a medical group with a lab. I was able to get experience in all kinds of areas. I thought to myself, "things are finally going great".

Then I got the phone call. Once again I was being fired from my site for an unnecessary comment. This time there was to be no finishing the externship. I flunked the class and will have to retake it.

I am humbled. 

In hindsight, I can see the importance of this discipline, right now, in this moment. I can also see how this could have been avoided if I had just LISTENED to Patsy.(God-using little ol' Patsy)

So, my OneWord365 is LISTEN. 

Merriam Webster defines the word listen as: to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration. Synonyms include: attend, hark, hearken, hear, heed, mind.

These are all great words to help me focus, and use on a daily basis. 

I am praying that 2012 will continue to bring change and show me ways to listen with my Fathers ears and heart. 

"Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin." Proverbs 10:14

Choosing Joy,

Pamela