Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts

When I met Sara in 2008, I was a mess. My husband and I were separated. I was living with my sister in NW Indiana, while my husband and and sons were in a St Louis suburb.

I was living with chronic pain and had been for years. I could not understand why my husband and family were not empathetic or understanding, and no matter what I did it never seemed enough. I had pushed my body to the point that I could not even take care of myself, let alone my sons. I was deeply ensnared in the abyss of self-pity.

And then I met Sara. I was new to social media. To Twitter and Facebook. Through Divine intervention and seemingly random connections, I met my Sweet Soul Sisters; Tammy, Alece, Jenni, Cathi and Sara. Let's not forget Matthew Paul, Chad, Mark, Pete, Blake, Anne Marie and all of the folks at Crosspoint.tv. Each and everyone of these people would have a profound impact on my life and still do, but it was Sara who changed my life.

I remember very clearly the first time I read her blog. It was called "A Week in The Life", and it was a brutally honest series of posts about her life, her autoimmune disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis, and what it is like to live every moment of your life in your home. Being allergic to the very air we breath and take for granted. The amount of medication she took on a daily basis to just live astounded me. Yet, the most amazing and impactful thing about Sara was how she chose joy and was completely grateful for what abilities and amenities she still had. Her faith and trust in God was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Sara gave me a true picture of what it means to be a faithful follower of Christ.

The more time I spent with Sara on social media, her blog, and CPTV, the more I realized that I had that same choice. I found that my diagnoses did not define me and even though I was in pain all the time, I didn't have to live like I was. I could choose joy. And I did. I still do every day.

This gift that Sara gave me is one that I will forever be grateful for and will share her story until my final breath. This book is a reminder of her voice, when choosing is hard, That "no moment from my God is a rock of burden. it's just a rock waiting to be broken apart into stepping stones."

Ship high in transit...

Have you ever been so stressed you thought your head was going to explode and vomit erupt like lava from your neck?

Me too!

That is where i am at right now. I know that seems like a graphic description, but it is as close as i can come to giving you a visual picture of the ride i am on.

I will graduate from college on January 8, 2012.

I have finals tomorrow. After completing this round of finals, i will begin my last pair of regular classes. From what i understand, they are extremely difficult.

From there i have externship and clinical review. These two classes are pass or fail. There is no in between or second chance.

I also have a husband and three sons, one of which has autism spectrum disorder.

AND i live with debilitating chronic pain.

Most of the time it is easy ( or easier) for me to Choose Joy, like my friend Sara encouraged me so often.

Although, for the past two days, Ship High In Transit is what has been coming to my mind most often.

So, my questions for you are:

What is stressing you out?
Would you pray for my mental health this next ten weeks?

Honoring Sara

On Saturday, September 24, 2011, our sweet Sara went home to be with our Jesus. While i am sad that i will not hear her voice of wisdom again, or see her tweets in my timeline, i am beyond thankful to know she is home.

Sara loved to sing and dance, which she has not been able to do for a very long time. I can picture her up in heaven, her head thrown back, getting her praise on. Dancing around in circles.

The joy on her face: matchless.

The pain that riddled her body for so many years: gone.

As a way of honoring Sara, several of her blogger friends have decided to get permanent reminders of the mantra that she lived by:

CHOOSE JOY.

While many of our friends went with a more traditional black tat, i decided to go for Saigon pink. There are several reasons for this. One being that since i am in the medical profession, i need it to be a bit more discreet. That's okay because its really for me and anyone who gets close enough to see it. Not for the sake of having a visible tattoo. The second reason is that it makes it unique. We also incorporated Sara's initials into it. That adds more sentimental value, along with the font being in her own handwriting. Lastly, i really like the color pink. Its simple, i know, but there it is. I am a girly girl at heart.
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I hope that you can take time to get to know and love Sara (gitzengirl) as much as i do. Her blog is going to remain up on the interwebs, so i encourage you to sit down with Sara and visit for awhile.

She will change your life.

i know.

Because she has sure changed mine.

Me and Sara

The first time i "met" Sara was about two years ago, when the (In)Courage community was launched.

Sara and Adeline

I remember thinking at the time how impressed i was because Sara was completely home bound, with an incredibly painful, progressive disease, and she had the most amazing and positive attitude i have ever witnessed.

i was humbled. and convicted.

in the late 1990's i was diagnosed with several chronic pain disorders. i thought my life as i knew it was over. and it was. i was so self-centered and i couldn't understand why my husband and family didn't revolve their entire world around me and my pain. i almost lost my family and my marriage over it.

i didn't get that, yes, my world had changed, but that didn't mean that i had to change my personality with it.

until Sara.


Sara showed me that even though, your circumstances may be less than ideal, you can still be:

graceful
loving
sweet
unselfish
kind
generous


and that you can choose joy every day.

Sara is now on her journey to redemption. while i am incredibly sad, i will miss her wisdom, humor, and that unique perspective that only she can give, i am also thankful. thankful (and maybe even a little jealous) that she is going to meet our Jesus. He is going to hug her, and hold her, and she will know no pain. for that, i am eternally grateful.

if i have any regret, it would be that i never got to meet her face-to-face, or give her a hug. that's okay. i'll meet her soon enough, and hug her with all of my might, and be confident that it will not be painful for either of us.

i love you, Sara, and thank you for all that you are and have been, for me, and countless others.

God bless you and keep you until we meet again!

Be OUTSPOKEN

I AM SO EXCITED!

It is not very often that I get the opportunity to review a new book prior to its release at a major creative conference. When Tim Schraeder announced on twitter that he was looking for a few people to help out with this project, I found I actually had margin in my schedule and was thrilled to offer to help out.

I have been extremely impressed by this collection of essays and stories, which are so full of wisdom and insight.Written by many of our leading church communication guru's, creatives, story tellers, techno-wizards, branding/marketing, and design folks, available to the modern Christian culture as we know it.

My favorite thing about this book is that it is like a D-I-Y book for churches and their leadership. There are chapters that speak to Technology and its place in the church (or in some cases, maybe not so much, and when to know the difference.) Talks about authenticity, branding and intentionally communicating your brand.

"Everything our churches do today forms the message we are ultimately communicating to the world." Tim Schraeder.

I love that throughout most all of this book, I felt like the collective authors were reading my mind. I am not a staff member at my church. I do volunteer regularly and am a PK, so I have a little more knowledge of the internal workings of the church as well as the knowledge that i really don't get much of an opinion or say so in how the services or ministries are run. It is very refreshing to find so many of today's forward thinking leaders in the church communication consortium with the same train of thought that I have,on many of the same issues.

There is so much information available in this book, that you will find it to be an invaluable resource, regardless of whether you are new to the church scene or been on staff for many years.

In accordance with the law I must disclose to you that I received a copy of this book, in exchange for reviewing it and posting my review on this website. I was not paid in any manner otherwise.

**I feel I must apologize for the disorganization of this post. I have to confess, I am quite distracted because i learned early this morning that one of my blogger friends, Sara Frankl, (@gitzengirl) is really sick. This is not new, news really. The part about "this is it, I'm going home soon" is what is new. There is a part in Tim's book that just keeps jumping out to me this day and i feel as though it has to be shared, as i believe it to be most appropriate in this situation: "Through bits, bytes, tweets and push notifications, the way we share our stories has changed dramatically. The way we interact and share information has found new forms and the very definition of things like friendship and community have new meaning as we connect and are "friends" with people we have never even met face-to-face."  Tim Schraeder. This sentiment is so true, yet has not had more meaning for me until today. I really do not know Sara all that well. I have not met her face-to-face, yet i feel like i have known Sara for years and she feels like a sister to me. A sweet sister.The response to the news that her time her on earth is short has been nothing less than amazing. to see twitter being the church has been overwhelming. With all of that being said, i believe it goes to the point that we can be the church regardless of whether we live 7 miles away or 700 miles away, so long as we are honoring Him.

Please join me in lighting a candle for @gitzengirl and saying a prayer for her before you lay down for your rest.
Pamela

@PamelaSHunter/twitter