Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts

When I met Sara in 2008, I was a mess. My husband and I were separated. I was living with my sister in NW Indiana, while my husband and and sons were in a St Louis suburb.

I was living with chronic pain and had been for years. I could not understand why my husband and family were not empathetic or understanding, and no matter what I did it never seemed enough. I had pushed my body to the point that I could not even take care of myself, let alone my sons. I was deeply ensnared in the abyss of self-pity.

And then I met Sara. I was new to social media. To Twitter and Facebook. Through Divine intervention and seemingly random connections, I met my Sweet Soul Sisters; Tammy, Alece, Jenni, Cathi and Sara. Let's not forget Matthew Paul, Chad, Mark, Pete, Blake, Anne Marie and all of the folks at Crosspoint.tv. Each and everyone of these people would have a profound impact on my life and still do, but it was Sara who changed my life.

I remember very clearly the first time I read her blog. It was called "A Week in The Life", and it was a brutally honest series of posts about her life, her autoimmune disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis, and what it is like to live every moment of your life in your home. Being allergic to the very air we breath and take for granted. The amount of medication she took on a daily basis to just live astounded me. Yet, the most amazing and impactful thing about Sara was how she chose joy and was completely grateful for what abilities and amenities she still had. Her faith and trust in God was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Sara gave me a true picture of what it means to be a faithful follower of Christ.

The more time I spent with Sara on social media, her blog, and CPTV, the more I realized that I had that same choice. I found that my diagnoses did not define me and even though I was in pain all the time, I didn't have to live like I was. I could choose joy. And I did. I still do every day.

This gift that Sara gave me is one that I will forever be grateful for and will share her story until my final breath. This book is a reminder of her voice, when choosing is hard, That "no moment from my God is a rock of burden. it's just a rock waiting to be broken apart into stepping stones."

Honoring Sara

On Saturday, September 24, 2011, our sweet Sara went home to be with our Jesus. While i am sad that i will not hear her voice of wisdom again, or see her tweets in my timeline, i am beyond thankful to know she is home.

Sara loved to sing and dance, which she has not been able to do for a very long time. I can picture her up in heaven, her head thrown back, getting her praise on. Dancing around in circles.

The joy on her face: matchless.

The pain that riddled her body for so many years: gone.

As a way of honoring Sara, several of her blogger friends have decided to get permanent reminders of the mantra that she lived by:

CHOOSE JOY.

While many of our friends went with a more traditional black tat, i decided to go for Saigon pink. There are several reasons for this. One being that since i am in the medical profession, i need it to be a bit more discreet. That's okay because its really for me and anyone who gets close enough to see it. Not for the sake of having a visible tattoo. The second reason is that it makes it unique. We also incorporated Sara's initials into it. That adds more sentimental value, along with the font being in her own handwriting. Lastly, i really like the color pink. Its simple, i know, but there it is. I am a girly girl at heart.
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I hope that you can take time to get to know and love Sara (gitzengirl) as much as i do. Her blog is going to remain up on the interwebs, so i encourage you to sit down with Sara and visit for awhile.

She will change your life.

i know.

Because she has sure changed mine.

Me and Sara

The first time i "met" Sara was about two years ago, when the (In)Courage community was launched.

Sara and Adeline

I remember thinking at the time how impressed i was because Sara was completely home bound, with an incredibly painful, progressive disease, and she had the most amazing and positive attitude i have ever witnessed.

i was humbled. and convicted.

in the late 1990's i was diagnosed with several chronic pain disorders. i thought my life as i knew it was over. and it was. i was so self-centered and i couldn't understand why my husband and family didn't revolve their entire world around me and my pain. i almost lost my family and my marriage over it.

i didn't get that, yes, my world had changed, but that didn't mean that i had to change my personality with it.

until Sara.


Sara showed me that even though, your circumstances may be less than ideal, you can still be:

graceful
loving
sweet
unselfish
kind
generous


and that you can choose joy every day.

Sara is now on her journey to redemption. while i am incredibly sad, i will miss her wisdom, humor, and that unique perspective that only she can give, i am also thankful. thankful (and maybe even a little jealous) that she is going to meet our Jesus. He is going to hug her, and hold her, and she will know no pain. for that, i am eternally grateful.

if i have any regret, it would be that i never got to meet her face-to-face, or give her a hug. that's okay. i'll meet her soon enough, and hug her with all of my might, and be confident that it will not be painful for either of us.

i love you, Sara, and thank you for all that you are and have been, for me, and countless others.

God bless you and keep you until we meet again!