Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts

When I met Sara in 2008, I was a mess. My husband and I were separated. I was living with my sister in NW Indiana, while my husband and and sons were in a St Louis suburb.

I was living with chronic pain and had been for years. I could not understand why my husband and family were not empathetic or understanding, and no matter what I did it never seemed enough. I had pushed my body to the point that I could not even take care of myself, let alone my sons. I was deeply ensnared in the abyss of self-pity.

And then I met Sara. I was new to social media. To Twitter and Facebook. Through Divine intervention and seemingly random connections, I met my Sweet Soul Sisters; Tammy, Alece, Jenni, Cathi and Sara. Let's not forget Matthew Paul, Chad, Mark, Pete, Blake, Anne Marie and all of the folks at Crosspoint.tv. Each and everyone of these people would have a profound impact on my life and still do, but it was Sara who changed my life.

I remember very clearly the first time I read her blog. It was called "A Week in The Life", and it was a brutally honest series of posts about her life, her autoimmune disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis, and what it is like to live every moment of your life in your home. Being allergic to the very air we breath and take for granted. The amount of medication she took on a daily basis to just live astounded me. Yet, the most amazing and impactful thing about Sara was how she chose joy and was completely grateful for what abilities and amenities she still had. Her faith and trust in God was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Sara gave me a true picture of what it means to be a faithful follower of Christ.

The more time I spent with Sara on social media, her blog, and CPTV, the more I realized that I had that same choice. I found that my diagnoses did not define me and even though I was in pain all the time, I didn't have to live like I was. I could choose joy. And I did. I still do every day.

This gift that Sara gave me is one that I will forever be grateful for and will share her story until my final breath. This book is a reminder of her voice, when choosing is hard, That "no moment from my God is a rock of burden. it's just a rock waiting to be broken apart into stepping stones."

Ship high in transit...

Have you ever been so stressed you thought your head was going to explode and vomit erupt like lava from your neck?

Me too!

That is where i am at right now. I know that seems like a graphic description, but it is as close as i can come to giving you a visual picture of the ride i am on.

I will graduate from college on January 8, 2012.

I have finals tomorrow. After completing this round of finals, i will begin my last pair of regular classes. From what i understand, they are extremely difficult.

From there i have externship and clinical review. These two classes are pass or fail. There is no in between or second chance.

I also have a husband and three sons, one of which has autism spectrum disorder.

AND i live with debilitating chronic pain.

Most of the time it is easy ( or easier) for me to Choose Joy, like my friend Sara encouraged me so often.

Although, for the past two days, Ship High In Transit is what has been coming to my mind most often.

So, my questions for you are:

What is stressing you out?
Would you pray for my mental health this next ten weeks?

Honoring Sara

On Saturday, September 24, 2011, our sweet Sara went home to be with our Jesus. While i am sad that i will not hear her voice of wisdom again, or see her tweets in my timeline, i am beyond thankful to know she is home.

Sara loved to sing and dance, which she has not been able to do for a very long time. I can picture her up in heaven, her head thrown back, getting her praise on. Dancing around in circles.

The joy on her face: matchless.

The pain that riddled her body for so many years: gone.

As a way of honoring Sara, several of her blogger friends have decided to get permanent reminders of the mantra that she lived by:

CHOOSE JOY.

While many of our friends went with a more traditional black tat, i decided to go for Saigon pink. There are several reasons for this. One being that since i am in the medical profession, i need it to be a bit more discreet. That's okay because its really for me and anyone who gets close enough to see it. Not for the sake of having a visible tattoo. The second reason is that it makes it unique. We also incorporated Sara's initials into it. That adds more sentimental value, along with the font being in her own handwriting. Lastly, i really like the color pink. Its simple, i know, but there it is. I am a girly girl at heart.
.
I hope that you can take time to get to know and love Sara (gitzengirl) as much as i do. Her blog is going to remain up on the interwebs, so i encourage you to sit down with Sara and visit for awhile.

She will change your life.

i know.

Because she has sure changed mine.