Something To Say

Listen Up

2012-01-02T09:27:00.002-06:00

A few thoughts on One Word 365 and my word choice: LISTEN

I saw this quote on twitter the other day: @SoleHope "Well done is better than well said" Benjamin Franklin

I really heard that.

I am not sure when it started. This insatiable need to prove that I am as smart, or as good, or as likable as other people. I realize that is my own insecurity. Its these insecurities that get me into trouble every time. Its when I am nervous or feel less than, like I need to fit in, that I say stupid things.

So, my lesson today has been: a little less talk and a lot more action.

What are you learning on your journey today?

Choosing Joy,
Pamela

Nothing to Say

2012-01-01T11:48:00.001-06:00

The past 12 months have been crazy.

To say the least.

This time last year, I decided to join my friend Alece in her One Word 2011 Challenge. I thought about and prayed about what one word God had for me in 2011.

(We) came up with CHANGE.

I had no idea what I was in for.

I started college (again) at age 42, jumped through so many hoops trying to get our son, Joseph, the assistance he needs to function well and integrate with society. He has autism. Graduated our oldest son, Allen-Michael, from high school and into college life & responsibilities. I had shoulder surgery. Shawn had a cardiac event that led to him having surgery to remove a HUGE blood clot from the radial artery in his arm. all the while maintaining a 4.0 GPA, and as president of MASO and secretary of our Student Ambassadors.

You may be thinking: Wow, what a braggart! Overachiever! Why are you telling us this???

Well, here's why. I was feeling really pretty good about myself, as you might imagine. All the way until the beginning of November when I attended the Women of Faith conference. I really felt like God was speaking to me that weekend. So many great speakers with so much wisdom to share.

I was so convicted by Patsy Clairmont and her words on talking too much.(ouch)

Not letting other people shine. (guilty as charged)

The problem is that I didn't listen. (and i should have)

As many of you know, I am just finishing my program as a Medical Assistant. Part of that program is to participate in a student externship at the site of a working lab or physicians office. I was placed at a physicians office. I thought things were going great. Then I received a phone call from our externship coordinator.

I was FIRED from the site.

For making an unnecessary (albeit true) comment.

I was devastated. But my instructors were working with me because of my past history, grades, citizenship and so on, so they placed me at a new site. I loved it. It was at a medical group with a lab. I was able to get experience in all kinds of areas. I thought to myself, "things are finally going great".

Then I got the phone call. Once again I was being fired from my site for an unnecessary comment. This time there was to be no finishing the externship. I flunked the class and will have to retake it.

I am humbled.

In hindsight, I can see the importance of this discipline, right now, in this moment. I can also see how this could have been avoided if I had just LISTENED to Patsy.(God-using little ol' Patsy)

So, my OneWord365 is LISTEN.

Merriam Webster defines the word listen as: to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration. Synonyms include: attend, hark, hearken, hear, heed, mind.

These are all great words to help me focus, and use on a daily basis.

I am praying that 2012 will continue to bring change and show me ways to listen with my Fathers ears and heart.

"Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin." Proverbs 10:14

Choosing Joy,

Pamela

Concluding One Word 2011

2011-12-11T17:04:00.001-06:00

I cannot believe nearly a year has passed and 2011 is almost gone. My one word for the year was CHANGE. I had absolutely no idea how prophetic that would be or how God would use people and things in my life to CHANGE me so much.

God has required so much of me this year.

I have almost finished school. (January 6 is the big day)
Made new friends.
Said goodbye to old ones. (I miss you, Sara)
Learning to be quiet. (Keep my mouth shut and unnecessary comments to myself)
Learned sarcasm is not attractive or funny. (or a love language)

I still have many CHANGES to work out and keep working on. These are one day at a time, never give up, work in progress, kind of CHANGES.

I am really excited for 2012, and have really narrowed down my One Word selection. I think it is going to be as meaningful to me as 2011, if not more so.

What are your potential words for 2012?

Over The Top

2011-11-08T07:55:00.001-06:00

I have to say it.

The Women of Faith conference chose THE most appropriate title for their Kansas City, Missouri conference when they chose:

OVER THE TOP!

I do not even know where to start sharing the fabulousness of the past weekend. The speakers and musicians were as unbelievably unique and talented as they were diverse.

First, though, I have to share with you how I ended up at the Kansas City conference. As many of you know, I am a Booksneeze Blogger for Thomas Nelson Publishing. When the opportunity came up to apply to attend the Woman of Faith conference as a BB, I immediately jumped on it. I never really thought that they would pick me, but they did. The event I chose to attend, however, was in August and in Indianapolis, Indiana. The event date was the 18-19th, and on August 10th I had to have emergency surgery on my shoulder to repair a torn rotator cuff. Needless to say, attending the Indianpolis event was out of the question for me. I was devastated. I talked to the kind people at Booksneeze and Women of Faith. I was allowed to transfer my tickets to the Kansas City event. At the time, I had no idea why things would turn out the way they did. Now I can see that God's timing is perfect and I was supposed to be at this event, with my sister-in-law Stephanie, and hear these speakers and their messages.

Andy Andrews was straight up hilarious. I have not laughed that hard in a very long time. My ribs still ache four days later. Andy is a motivational speaker and best-selling author. He uses Godly principles to help people find and achieve their purpose in life. For all of Andy's A.D.D. and antics, he is a very wise guy. My favorite quote from him is this:

"Fear is nothing but a misuse of the creative imagination God has placed inside of you."

For me, that is a huge realization. I learned much from Andy. As the only male speaker on the tour, his perspective was a treat.

Sandi Patty, Patsy Clairmont, Lisa Welchel, Brenda Warner and the fabulous Mandisa all seemed to be expressing a similar message. One that I believe God has been trying to get me to hear for awhile and I am just now beginning to receive. I am a little dense sometimes and have to be hit over the head with it before it sinks in.

There is much to be said about being quiet.

To quote dear, sweet, Patsy "SHUT UP! In Jesus Name." Proverbs 29:20 says "Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them."

I really think God overtook Patsy's little body that day and was speaking directly to me. Then Lisa started talking about friendship. How to be a friend as well as find one that is suitable for you.

WOW! Talk about a wake up call. I am not a very trusting friend. Sure, I will let you in to a certain extent, but the really hard stuff...NOPE. I have really been hurt before and it is hard to trust after that. It is really no excuse, but there you have it. I also get anxious and say stupid things to show how "intelligent" I am. You know...that I am observant of my friends likes and dislikes, etc. then I really stick my foot in it.

So, along those lines, I have a confession to make. Most of you know I am a twitter-a-holic. One of my favorite tweeps is Mandisa. (@MandisaOfficial) I was so blessed to meet Mandisa at Women of Faith. I was so excited. Not for the usual reasons, though. Not because she is a fabulous and award-winning singer. (although that is so true) Not because she was on American Idol and gave Simon amazing grace after he was so incredibly rude to her. The reason I was so excited is because she is so positive and joyful. Mandisa is a role model for me because she has overcome crazy obstacles in life and come out so much better for what she has been through. I owe her a HUGE apology. She was so lovely, came up and gave me a hug once she found out who I was. Like the dork that I am, I made a seriously stupid comment on something that I had no business commenting on.

On that note, Mandisa, I am so, so, sorry for my lack of judgement. Please forgive me. God is truly dealing with me and my learning to turn on the filter. It has been a hard learned, but much needed lesson.

Regardless of my major faux pas, I am so thankful for the opportunity to attend and learn from these amazing teachers. I think Amy Grant summed up the experience perfectly in the lyrics from her song "Better than a Hallelujah:"

"Beautiful the mess we are,

the honest cries,

and breaking hearts,

are better than a hallelujah sometimes."

*Thomas Nelson {Booksneeze} and Women of Faith provided complimentary event tickets for myself and a friend in exchange for review of aforementioned event.

TWO MORE DAYS!!!

2011-11-02T05:48:00.001-05:00

I can' t believe it is almost here! You know what i'm talking about, don't you?

The WOMEN OF FAITH: Over The Top in Kansas City.

It starts on Friday morning and i am going to be there with my friend (and sister-in-law) Stephanie. I am not sure if i am more excited about seeing the incredibly talented, wise, funny and diverse group of ladies who will be speaking, or getting to spend quality time with Stephanie, without our kiddo's and family hanging on our every word.

I am so blessed to be able to share this experience with Steph. She is so much fun. Our relationship has not always been easy. A lot of it has been my own insecurity. I am so thankful for her grace.

If you are attending this conference i will be tweeting at @PamelaSHunter using the hashtags #WOFOTT #BOOKSNEEZE Please feel free to look me up.

Choosing JOY,

Pamela

Ship high in transit...

2011-10-12T13:11:00.001-05:00

Have you ever been so stressed you thought your head was going to explode and vomit erupt like lava from your neck?

Me too!

That is where i am at right now. I know that seems like a graphic description, but it is as close as i can come to giving you a visual picture of the ride i am on.

I will graduate from college on January 8, 2012.

I have finals tomorrow. After completing this round of finals, i will begin my last pair of regular classes. From what i understand, they are extremely difficult.

From there i have externship and clinical review. These two classes are pass or fail. There is no in between or second chance.

I also have a husband and three sons, one of which has autism spectrum disorder.

AND i live with debilitating chronic pain.

Most of the time it is easy ( or easier) for me to Choose Joy, like my friend Sara encouraged me so often.

Although, for the past two days, Ship High In Transit is what has been coming to my mind most often.

So, my questions for you are:

What is stressing you out?
Would you pray for my mental health this next ten weeks?

Honoring Sara

2011-09-30T20:10:00.001-05:00

On Saturday, September 24, 2011, our sweet Sara went home to be with our Jesus. While i am sad that i will not hear her voice of wisdom again, or see her tweets in my timeline, i am beyond thankful to know she is home.

Sara loved to sing and dance, which she has not been able to do for a very long time. I can picture her up in heaven, her head thrown back, getting her praise on. Dancing around in circles.

The joy on her face: matchless.

The pain that riddled her body for so many years: gone.

As a way of honoring Sara, several of her blogger friends have decided to get permanent reminders of the mantra that she lived by:

CHOOSE JOY.

While many of our friends went with a more traditional black tat, i decided to go for Saigon pink. There are several reasons for this. One being that since i am in the medical profession, i need it to be a bit more discreet. That's okay because its really for me and anyone who gets close enough to see it. Not for the sake of having a visible tattoo. The second reason is that it makes it unique. We also incorporated Sara's initials into it. That adds more sentimental value, along with the font being in her own handwriting. Lastly, i really like the color pink. Its simple, i know, but there it is. I am a girly girl at heart.
.
I hope that you can take time to get to know and love Sara (gitzengirl) as much as i do. Her blog is going to remain up on the interwebs, so i encourage you to sit down with Sara and visit for awhile.

She will change your life.

i know.

Because she has sure changed mine.

Me and Sara

2011-09-17T07:34:00.001-05:00

The first time i "met" Sara was about two years ago, when the (In)Courage community was launched.

Sara and Adeline

I remember thinking at the time how impressed i was because Sara was completely home bound, with an incredibly painful, progressive disease, and she had the most amazing and positive attitude i have ever witnessed.

i was humbled. and convicted.

in the late 1990's i was diagnosed with several chronic pain disorders. i thought my life as i knew it was over. and it was. i was so self-centered and i couldn't understand why my husband and family didn't revolve their entire world around me and my pain. i almost lost my family and my marriage over it.

i didn't get that, yes, my world had changed, but that didn't mean that i had to change my personality with it.

until Sara.

Sara showed me that even though, your circumstances may be less than ideal, you can still be:

graceful
loving
sweet
unselfish
kind
generous

and that you can choose joy every day.

Sara is now on her journey to redemption. while i am incredibly sad, i will miss her wisdom, humor, and that unique perspective that only she can give, i am also thankful. thankful (and maybe even a little jealous) that she is going to meet our Jesus. He is going to hug her, and hold her, and she will know no pain. for that, i am eternally grateful.

if i have any regret, it would be that i never got to meet her face-to-face, or give her a hug. that's okay. i'll meet her soon enough, and hug her with all of my might, and be confident that it will not be painful for either of us.

i love you, Sara, and thank you for all that you are and have been, for me, and countless others.

God bless you and keep you until we meet again!

Be OUTSPOKEN

2011-09-15T00:46:00.000-05:00

I AM SO EXCITED!

It is not very often that I get the opportunity to review a new book prior to its release at a major creative conference. When Tim Schraeder announced on twitter that he was looking for a few people to help out with this project, I found I actually had margin in my schedule and was thrilled to offer to help out.

I have been extremely impressed by this collection of essays and stories, which are so full of wisdom and insight.Written by many of our leading church communication guru's, creatives, story tellers, techno-wizards, branding/marketing, and design folks, available to the modern Christian culture as we know it.

My favorite thing about this book is that it is like a D-I-Y book for churches and their leadership. There are chapters that speak to Technology and its place in the church (or in some cases, maybe not so much, and when to know the difference.) Talks about authenticity, branding and intentionally communicating your brand.

"Everything our churches do today forms the message we are ultimately communicating to the world." Tim Schraeder.

I love that throughout most all of this book, I felt like the collective authors were reading my mind. I am not a staff member at my church. I do volunteer regularly and am a PK, so I have a little more knowledge of the internal workings of the church as well as the knowledge that i really don't get much of an opinion or say so in how the services or ministries are run. It is very refreshing to find so many of today's forward thinking leaders in the church communication consortium with the same train of thought that I have,on many of the same issues.

There is so much information available in this book, that you will find it to be an invaluable resource, regardless of whether you are new to the church scene or been on staff for many years.

In accordance with the law I must disclose to you that I received a copy of this book, in exchange for reviewing it and posting my review on this website. I was not paid in any manner otherwise.

**I feel I must apologize for the disorganization of this post. I have to confess, I am quite distracted because i learned early this morning that one of my blogger friends, Sara Frankl, (@gitzengirl) is really sick. This is not new, news really. The part about "this is it, I'm going home soon" is what is new. There is a part in Tim's book that just keeps jumping out to me this day and i feel as though it has to be shared, as i believe it to be most appropriate in this situation: "Through bits, bytes, tweets and push notifications, the way we share our stories has changed dramatically. The way we interact and share information has found new forms and the very definition of things like friendship and community have new meaning as we connect and are "friends" with people we have never even met face-to-face." Tim Schraeder. This sentiment is so true, yet has not had more meaning for me until today. I really do not know Sara all that well. I have not met her face-to-face, yet i feel like i have known Sara for years and she feels like a sister to me. A sweet sister.The response to the news that her time her on earth is short has been nothing less than amazing. to see twitter being the church has been overwhelming. With all of that being said, i believe it goes to the point that we can be the church regardless of whether we live 7 miles away or 700 miles away, so long as we are honoring Him.

Please join me in lighting a candle for @gitzengirl and saying a prayer for her before you lay down for your rest.
Pamela

@PamelaSHunter/twitter

One Word 2011 (Part II)

2011-07-25T19:36:00.000-05:00

Back in January i decided to participate in my friend Alece's challenge to find ONE WORD in 2011 that could define a goal for myself. Something i wanted to do differently or apply to my life to make a positive impact on the world around me.

Below is an update on how that has been going for me.

The word i chose was CHANGE.

Boy oh Boy...and change was what i was in for. i had no idea how i was to be stretched and challenged in the next several months that would follow.

i had no idea that i would have to completely change my way of thinking in order to adapt to being a college student again at age 43.

i never would have thought i would have to change every thing i thought i knew about parenting because my youngest son has Bipolar disorder, ASD/Aspergers syndrome, physically attacked me and tried to commit suicide.

i was not prepared for the news that my high school and home town were devastated and changed forever. That so many of my friends would lose their homes, jobs, and we would all lose loved ones.

i also would not have had to change my reliance on my Heavenly Father.

My daddy.

The one who has carried me when i could not walk through this craziness on my own. The one who, despite all of my attempts to change the outcome of this mess i call life, loves me anyway.

So i'm going to keep on working on change. i think it is going to be just fine.

Women of Faith

2011-07-20T19:21:00.002-05:00

I AM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!

I received an email yesterday informing me that I had been chosen to attend the Women of Faith Conference in Indianapolis on August 19-20, 2011 as a Book Sneeze Blogger.

Can you believe it? I am so pumped, right? I mean-this is a huge honor for me. After all, I am NOT a writer and although I try to blog, somehow I feel like it really is not my forte'.

So why would they want me to promote and write about this major women's event in the Christian world?

I think maybe because I have a big mouth and I tweet a lot?!

What do you think?

A Prayer and A Comment!

2011-03-02T17:32:00.000-06:00

So, we have been praying for Lisa and sending her encouragement for about a week now. I talked with Sue last night, and she was hopeful that Lisa is going to get to go home today. I have not heard any news as of yet, so we'll keep praying for that to happen.

I am so grateful to everyone who has responded to the call for encouragement and prayer. Cards and notes are starting to come in and Lisa is feeling so much LOVE!

I was talking to Sue last night and got to thinking, we could take this to a whole new level by opening up the comments here on the blog to you all for the purpose of encouraging and loving Lisa into our saviors arms.

Sue is also going to do some guest posts to keep you all apprised of what is happening and the difference you are making for Lisa. (maybe even a picture or two, who knows?)

With all of that being said, we want to welcome you to "Something to Say", and encourage YOU to make a difference in this one woman's life and death.

You are always welcome to mail are card or note to Lisa if that is your preference.

Lisa Bailey
3201 Dody Ave
Apartment 2
Michigan City, IN 46360

Happy Praying and Commenting!
Pamela

How YOU Can Make a Difference in One Woman's Life AND Death.

2011-02-27T15:36:00.004-06:00

I have often heard the question asked "How can I make a difference? I am only one person."

The answer is really very simple. By being an example. By taking the lead. By spreading the word. By refusing to do nothing when you see a need.

We all have the ability to make a difference in someone Else's life, no matter how small it is. It does not need to be a grand gesture (although, if you have the means to do that, please do so if that's what you feel led to do) or a public display. It can be as simple as saying a prayer for and sending a card to a woman who is dying of cancer, and is feeling like the world has forgotten her.

Please join the movement to show Lisa that LOVE really does WIN and its not just a catchphrase used by some to look hip and relevant. Who, when the chips are down, won't (or can't) put their money where their mouth's are.

We are asking that you say a prayer for Lisa and send her a card or note of encouragement. Its that easy. If you can't send a card, then please say a prayer. If you send a card, all we ask is that you note where you are from and what church you attend (if you do). We also ask that you DO NOT send get well soon sentiments.( i realize this should go without saying, but to avoid any confusion :)

Please read more about Lisa's story here and here. You can write to Lisa at the address below. Sue P. will make sure that any correspondence is delivered to her at the hospital.

Lisa Bailey
3201 Dody Ave
Apartment 2
Michigan City, IN 46360

To those of you who have already responded, God bless you and thank you! You will never know how much you have impacted Lisa's life. A Big shout out to my man "The Flower Boy" JZ! There is no one like you, and that's a shame. You are one of the most loving, generous and thoughtful people i know, and i am forever blessed and thankful to call you friend! YOU ROCK!!!

Peace, love and JOY!
Pamela

UPDATE: Send a card and Say a Prayer!

2011-02-25T19:54:00.000-06:00

I would like to thank everyone for their amazing response to the cause for care of our sweet sister Lisa.

I learned that she is going to have to remain hospitalized through the weekend, including her Big Birthday. The Dr. found a blood clot in her arm. This is very disappointing. Who wants to spend their birthday in the hospital, right?

So,for anyone who feels inclined, if you prefer to send a note of encouragement instead of a birthday card, please feel free to do so. Lisa's son will be taking any mail she receives to her at the hospital. I personally would love to see the walls of her room so full of cards, that one cannot tell the paint color!

Let that be my challenge to you! If you have a compassion group, or friends that like to write cards, please feel free to invite them to participate. The more the merrier is what I say!

God Bless you all.
Peace, love and JOY!
Pamela

I NEED YOUR HELP!

2011-02-24T17:12:00.005-06:00

Lisa and "our" dog Izzy

Many of you may remember a series of posts I did this time last year about my friend *Sally.

First off, let me start by unmasking the infamous *Sally… Her real name is Lisa Bailey.

Lisa has been battling cancer for years. She was in remission for awhile, thought to be cured, only to find that it had reappeared in a new location. For the last year or so, most everything the Drs. have tried, Lisa has had an adverse reaction to. Lisa has been a part of our family for as long as I can remember. She attended high school with my mom’s youngest twin sisters.

I want to share an email I received this morning from my aunt regarding Lisa and her situation, and then I would like to share with you how you can help:

“I just got a call from Lisa Bailey, she is in St. Joseph Med Center in Mishawaka. Her oncologist came in this morning and gave her more bad news. The cancer has spread to her nerves and to her right leg. He is recommending one more (and the last he can offer) round of chemo...guaranteeing no side effects and hair loss to her. She has a big decision to make. Please pray for peace and the right decision for her. She has reactions to most everything she is put on and really, really needs our prayer support. She is pretty much alone and is losing her life at a fast pace. Please pray with me and rally around her with me.

Thank you in advance for your prayer support and for standing in the gap for Lisa with me.

In His Service and for His glory,
Sue Prybylla”

This is the part where you come in. Lisa’s 50th birthday is on February 27th. I am asking you all to do two things for her.

1. Pray for her in earnest.

2. Send her a birthday card/note of encouragement.

On it please include the city, state, and church (if you have one) that you attend.

My goal in this is that Lisa will feel so well loved that she cannot contain it, and that is what she remembers as she leaves this world and enters His Kingdom.

No one deserves to feel alone when they are dying.

NO ONE!

Thank you all in advance for your prayers and your help on Lisa’s behalf.

Lisa’s address is: Lisa Bailey
                          3201 Dody Ave
                          Apartment 2
                          Michigan City, IN 46360

Please help us to be the church to Lisa and show her once again that we are not all defined by one certain group of people who are gathered within a particular building. We are ALL His hands and feet.

Peace, Love and JOY!
Pamela

ps. When Lisa moved from her house into the apartment, she could not take Izzy with her. She had also come to the point physically where she could no longer care for him like he needed to be cared for, so Izzy came to live with me. He has become such an integral and loving part of our family. He also provides a lot of our comic relief.

ONE WORD 2011

2011-01-07T15:36:00.000-06:00

My friend Alece tweeted on New Years Day about the one word "resolution," if you will, that she was planning on focusing on for 2011.

After seeing that tweet, and thinking about it for a week, i believe I've come up with one word that i can focus on and apply to several areas of my life.

My One Word for 2011 is CHANGE.

Change the way i think and feel about myself and others. Do i see people from a Christ like perspective?

Change my spending habits. Am i a good steward of what God has entrusted to me?

Change how i impact the world around me.

Am i being the hands and feet of Christ?

Am i caring for the widows and the poor?

The marginalized?

Am i being the change i want to see in the world?

Am i part of the solution, the cause for Christ or am i contributing to the problem, the stereotype?

I'm a little frightened. Change can be a scary thing.

Change can also be a good thing.

What is your One Word for 2011?

Living Life In The Zone: a 40-daySpiritual Game Plan for Men

2010-08-14T15:56:00.000-05:00

Living Life In the Zone: A 40-Day Spiritual Game Plan For Men, written by Kyle Rote, Jr. and Dr. Joe Pettigrew, is designed to be a devotional/self-study tool for men. I really enjoyed the way the authors used a topic (sports) that most men can relate to and gave real life testimonies on how men can deepen their relationships with God, family, friends and grow their faith.They can do so by 3 simple processes. Starting with an Idea, then having a game plan, and finally having time out or a daily assignment to help you reach your goal. This is a book that i am passing on to my teenage sons to help prepare them for adulthood and to be Men of God.

Definitely check this book out. Great stories from some of sports best known and well loved, with awesome practical advice for every day living...not just applicable to the men in our lives♥

Disclaimer: I received my copy for free as a member of booksneeze in exchange for review. Having said that, i have not been unduly influenced one way or the other as to what to write. K? k♥

Update: Haiti Mission Trip #719

2010-07-20T01:53:00.000-05:00

Good Morning!

Just a quick update.

Many of the needs have been met for the mission trip to Haiti!

Praise God!!!

There are still a few major ones, though, that still need to be met...a way TO Atlanta by July 28th. Several neccessary supplies, which i will list below, travel expenses (i.e. gas money for the return trip, food on the return trip, a couple of meals on the way to Haiti, etc.) possible charges for luggage on flight.

I know many of you have been on your knees on my behalf and i THANK YOU!

I know many of you have generously donated to this cause on my behalf, and i THANK YOU!

I ask that you continue to pray for those of us making this trip. that you seek the Holy Spirit's guidance as to what to pray for and that if you feel led to help financially, that you would know you are blessing the folks of Haiti in so very many ways.

that you would know it is not neccessarily only me that you are blessing , but you are loving these folks who have nothing, and you are loving them well. and if your blessing is in prayer, that you are also loving them well. i have a paypal acct set up. you can send contributions care of my email address mommy668@yahoo.com by following this link: SENDMONEY.

For those of you in the St. Louis area, i will be here (moscow mills) thru friday night/sat morn the 24th. if you can meet any of the needs listed below or have any questions please call me or email me. cell 219-229-5006,

636-356-1478 or mommy668@yahoo.com. For the folks in NW Indiana/ Chicago area, i will be home the 24th late afternoon. If you have any questions or feel you can meet any of the needs listed below, please feel free to call me or email. Again the trip dates are 7//28/2010 (have to be in Atlanta the 28th) thru 8/5/2010.

Thank you again for all of your thoughts, prayers, donations, and continued support!

In HIM,

Pamela

Supplies needed: Please pack one or two of the following items in your check-in luggage: Bisquick, oatmeal, cream of wheat, grits, or powdered milk. Also each person should bring a 4-roll pack of bathroom tissue.

Other things to Bring to Haiti! Hey Team....after working on your schedule some and talking with Courtney here are some things that we need people to bring for the activities you'll be doing here in Haiti! Please comment on this post and let us know if you'd be able to pick up any of these things!

- soccer balls (def...lated)

- soccer pump/needles

- other balls/games/activities for kids

- TONS of glow in the dark stars (the hard plastic ones) to set up night scenes and decorate the Miriam Center!- Acrylic Paint and Paint Brushes (all colors and lots of it!)

- White Christmas Lights

few more things to add to the list....

- Shaving Cream for a Shaving Cream party with the miriam center kids!

- They love glow in the dark necklaces, bracelets etc!

- baseball T and T Ball stuff is an option for the kids as well to teach them baseball if anyone is interested in sports!

Random Need: tons of boy's underwear, ryobi flashlights, baby cereal and boy's pants and shorts.

Also, for activities we love ANYTHING sensory- shaving cream, corn starch, ect

Blessings

2010-07-12T03:26:00.000-05:00

On my last post, Progress, my dear, dear friend Carol (who blogs over here) made the sweetest comment in reply. Carol and her husband Jim are retired pastors after 38years (i think) in the ministry. i probably don't have to mention much about what their pention plan DOES NOT look like. and they really are very sweet and humble about the sacrfices they have made. i just love ms Carol and am so thankful for her in my life. Any how. here is a copy of the sweet comment Ms Carol posted after my last post, it really got me to thinking. especially about the folks we're going to see.:

Dear Precious Pamela:

All I can offer is my prayers. I wanted so to participate toward giving.....but not having Dental Insurance....my front tooth broke off one night while eating a pizza at CC's. In order to save the tooth, I had to have a crown...terribly expensive. Even the prayers have been answered for someone to be burdened to give financially to you. You deserve it; you are the most loving, caring, encouraging I know on the face of this wonderful Lord's earth! So please go with my prayer blessings. Oh yes, you are our hands and feet!

Carols words are so thoughtful and caring, so warm ans full of wisdom, SO VERY IMPORTANT TO BOTH MYSELF AND THE MAKER, THAT ALL OF THE RICHES AND PHYSICAL BEAUTY OF HER APPEARANCE COULD NOT COMEPARE TO THE BEAUTY OF HER HEART AND GENEROUSITY OF SPIRIT!!! i AM HUMBLED IN HER PRESENCE.

Miss Carol teaches me (as well as models for me) how to live as a godly wife! i lesson i desparately need to learn to live well and love well will my husband and children.

so this was my response to miss Carol::
Miss Carol~

Oh, how i covet your prayers! They mean absolutely the world to me. In my mind there are various types of riches. There is money, gold, jewels, possesions, and the like. There are also those who are rich in the Spirit...those who offer of their time, energy, soul, prayers, wisdom and grace. Some folks are blessed with a little of both...either way, the way i see it, if you're using the blessing and "riches" that God wants you to have, to HIS glory, then its all good!

Thank you for sharing your "Blessings" with me, My Sweet Sister!

Peace, Love and JOY!

pamela

so...you tell me...what are you sides to the strory??? all commencs are welcome wit exception to annonymous ones

Progress

2010-07-08T20:54:00.001-05:00

Progress.

We have made lots of progress from where we were 10 days ago.

10 days ago i received an email from Shaun King asking me "Can you go?" So on a whim i filled out an application, expecting to be denied, and went on with my daily routine.

9 days ago i received an emailed saying my application was accepted and i needed $500 for the cost of the trip with $100 as a deposit due on the 4th of July.

8 days ago, by Gods grace and the help of friends and family, i was able to pay that deposit.

in the days that have followed, God has provided an additional $300.

So, maybe its better said GOD has made progress.

There are so many friends and family members that have been so generous with their support, both in prayer and with finances. Thank You, ALL!

We are almost there. The deadline for paying for the trip is July 17th.

9 DAYS FROM TODAY!

The other BIG need is the funding for travel to and from Atlanta, the various immunizations and meds that are needed to go with, many supplies that are specific to the trip and so on. I was able to find round trip tickets from CHI to ATL today for $171 plus tax. The issue is that i don't know how long that price is good for.

We would ask that you would join us in prayer for our trip, that you would seek guidance and if you feel lead by the Holy Spirit, you can contribute HERE. You will need my email address: mommy668@yahoo.com.

Thank you all in advance for your prayers and consideration.

Peace, love and JOY!
p

215 Bones

2010-07-02T01:37:00.000-05:00

Yep...you read the title exactly right!

$215 SMACKERS, BONES, BUCKS, BILLS, GREENBACKS, SCRATCH, ETC... and so on!

No matter how you say it, it all means the same, and the point is that through GODS will and with YOUR help, thats exactly how much money we have raised for the Courageous Church Haitian Mission trip in just......2 days!

That is 1/5 of the amount needed for the trip! Uh-May-Zing! My God can do anything in His will! I've seen Him do it time after time. I don't know why it still amazes me, but it just gives me chills!

I think about 1 John 5 :14, where it says : "This is the confidence we have in approaching God. That if we ask anything according to HIS will, HE hears US!" So, then, i prayfully ask with humility and courage of conviction, knowing that He has a plan for me, That YOU, My friends and family, consider aiding me in the financial committment needed for this trip.

If you feel you are being led to help financially, you may do so here. You will need my email address (mommy668@yahoo.com) it is FREE if you use an existing paypal or bank account to donate. There is a small fee associated with using your debit/credit card.

I would like to absolutely ask and THANK YOU for your prayers. They are Key to all aspects of this mission being a success. Not just for me but for all members of the team.

~~Big~~ no HUGE thank you's to those who are praying, encouraging, donating funds...just everything you do! You know who you are!!! I love you and thank you!

peace, love & JOY!
p

WhOOt!

2010-07-01T00:16:00.001-05:00

WhOOt!

WE DID IT!

We raised the first installment needed for the mission trip to Haiti! With YOUR help and Gods WILL, we did it!

Now, the next step is to raise the balance needed. I've done a bit of research today. In order to get to Atlanta, (where we depart from) by either plane or train, i am looking at around $280 smackers...IF i can purchase the tickets 21 days in advance. Since the party (anytime i'm given an opportunity to serve the Lord, i consider it a party, so i hope this does not offend anyone) starts early on July 29th, i would need to be in ATL by the 28th...possibly the 27th. That means i would need to purchase tickets by the 6th.

EEKS!

That is not much time to work with. 6 days to be exact. I'm thinking if God can create the world in 6 days, He can handle this...RIGHT???

Again, i'd like to thank you all so very much for your generosity of spirit, encouragement, prayers, and donations. I could not do this without YOU!

Peace, love & JOY!
p

If you feel led to help by making a donation, you can do so HERE . You can do so for free by using your existing paypal account or your bank account. You can use your credit/debit card for a small fee.

I Need A Little Help From My Friends

2010-06-30T14:17:00.002-05:00

So here's the thing.

I've been praying about how i could figure out a way, financially, that makes sense, to work this business out.

i truly believe that God has plans for me to be in Haiti come July 29, 2010.

and this is what I've come up with...the actual cost of the trip for me is $500 bones. when you add in airfare to and from Atlanta, you're looking at another $300.00 or so more plus any travelling and incidental expenses.

So, i figure probably around 1K would cover it.

I know this LOOKS like a lot of money and it is. but if you think about it like this: i have 214 friends of facebook. 310 followers on twitter. of those aforementioned peeps, probably close to 50 are family members. IF 100 of my friends gave $10.00 each. The ENTIRE TRIP Would be COVERED! If 200 friends gave $5.00 each...you get the picture. That's like giving up one frappe at McDonald's or sbux.

The immediate need is $100.00 by Sunday July 4th. I already have my passport. I have the necessary experience having been to Haiti previously. I just need a little help from my Friends!

If you feel led to assist in this mission, you can contribute HERE. You will need my email address.(mommy668@yahoo.com) Also, it is completely free if you use your existing paypal or bank account. There is a small fee associated with using a credit/debit card.

As always I ask that you pray and ask Gods leading in this, and ask the blessing of your prayers on this endeavor.

Peace, love & JOY!
pamela

Where The Rubber Meets The Road

2010-06-29T17:58:00.014-05:00

Okay folks...this is where the rubber meets the road. I've received the confirmation email from the folks at Courageous Church and a Home in Haiti. Thats the great news... the scary bit is that i have to have $500.00 cash dollars with $100.00 of it as a deposit by Sunday July 4th! (that's THIS Sunday) in order to participate in this mission trip to Haiti. WOWSERS!!!!

As most of you know, the last time i was in Haiti was in June of 1985. i celebrated my 17th birthday there. The beautiful twins in the header pic where patients of the clinic at Christianville where i volunteered. It was such a life changing experience for me. I would soooo LOVE to go back.

But here's the deal...i. am. flat. broke. My job ended on June 12th and i have been doing a little bit of private home health care, otherwise i am gainfully unemployed. I also have several other big financial commitments in the weeks just prior to this time frame. We are already doing a big yard sale to help cover those expenses. I am and always have been a firm believer that things happen the way they do for a reason. That maybe the reason that i have not been able to get a job yet is that God wanted me to be free for this opportunity. I believe that He can and does perform miracles EVERYDAY and that if its HIS will for me to go, He will provide a way.

So, If any of you feel led to assist in financing this trip, that would be AWESOMESAUCE! If you feel led to pray Gods will over me and the other folks considering this trip, that would be AWESOMESAUCE!

Thank you all so much for your prayers and thoughtful consideration. My paypal acct is HERE. You can also email me at mommy668@yahoo.com with any questions or concerns. You will need my email address for the paypal acct. Also, you can donate for FREE by using your existing paypal or bank account. There is a small fee is you choose to use your credit/debit card.

Peace, Love and JOY!
pamela

Author Models Plan B

2010-05-22T16:48:00.004-05:00

What Do You Do When God Doesn't Show up The Way You Thought He Would?

OK.

So i have totally been procrastinating writing my review of my friend Pete Wilson's new book, "Plan B".

My intention was to post it on the day the book was released nation wide, May 4, 2010. Then the weekend prior to that, the huge flood hit Tennessee and was particularly devastating to Nashville. Home to not only Pete and his family, but so many of my other friends and their families, plus my sister Melissa and her family live/work in the surrounding area.

I found myself rewriting my review. Initially i had written it from the perspective of "we all have a 'plan b' especially if we have family, kids, pets, etc" and peppered it with a little bit of humor.(cuz that's how i roll)

Suddenly it wasn't funny anymore. Suddenly my family and friends were living a devastating "Plan B". No homes, loss of cars, some friends lost family members. Reality bared it teeth and they were not pretty. Most folks did not have insurance and did not know where to start to even begin to pick up the pieces.

I'm sure a lot of these folks are feeling like God has turned His back on them.

Maybe even feeling like "God must be MAD at me?"

In his book, while writing on parallels between modern day and biblical times, Pete uses real life stories to offer hope, encouragement and honesty. In the powerful stories of the bible, Pete shows us how God can provide a "Plan B" and the outcome can be better than we ever dreamed for ourselves. The stories of David, Joshua & Joseph are awesome examples of this. David becomes King (not without his fair share of drama), Joshua has faith and crosses the Jordan and Joseph (dad's fave, thrown in a pit by jealous bros, adulterous, murderer & redeemed)

So...
In the book where Pete talks about trusting God, transformation through tragedy, and waiting on God to reveal your Plan B, I never imagined i would be witnessing Pete and friends living their Plan B quite so graphically or so quickly. These folks have been living it with a grace and passion i have never seen. I pray that I should be able to face any Plan B's in my future with such courage of conviction and grace. I am blessed to call Pete friend.

*Thomas Nelson Publishers generously provided me with a copy of this book to read and review.

Permission To Speak Freely

2010-03-02T18:45:00.008-06:00

As most of you know, two weeks ago i blogged about *Sally and her situation in a post called James 2:14-17. That post has generated a lot of comments, questions and controversy within the church i attend.

i was asked to remove the post. was accused of gossip and not being a *Christian. the leader who's words i repeated, (and he agreed they were his words) asked that we could have a conversation without it showing up in another blog post.

i think that was a reasonable enough request. i just don't know that i can continue to honor it.

the problem that i have with it is this; why would there be anything you couldn't say to me, about me, that couldn't be shared on a blog post? or that you would be embarrassed to have shared on a blog post. and why does it bug you so much that your words were repeated in the first place?

if we can't be transparent and authentic in church and with the church,

the BODY,

there is something really wrong with this picture.

If the folks who have commented on the blog post have to do so anonymously for fear of retribution and recrimination WITHIN the CHURCH,

there is a problem!

we should not need permission to speak freely!

why should we be afraid that we will not be loved or accepted by the body of Christ?

my good friend Anne Jackson is writing a book called Permission to Speak Freely.

maybe ya'll should check it out.

we should be free to speak our words in love and kindness.

in the real world.

you know.

where unicorns and leprechauns live.

More New Friends♥

2010-03-02T15:44:00.003-06:00

K. So the other day I introduced you to my new friend Danielle and her blog, The Design Girl, and the fabulous giveaway she was doing.

Well, since then, one of the gals i've met via @incourage, Sarah Mae, has decided to do an amazing giveaway as well.

Unbelievable, i know.

Just wait til you see what it is.

Click here to see the deets and how YOU can participate.

Now the Awesomesauceness of it all is this: Sarah Mae has introduced me to another new friend. Gussy. i can't believe how blessed i am to meet all of these fabulous, fun, God-loving ladies.

How insanely creative and talented Gussy is. You just HAVE to check out her shop.

Looking for a cute and fun iphone holder? She's got it♥
Need an amazing briefcase or laptop bag? It's there♥
Organizer for your purse? Ditto♥

You're gonna love her schtuff. Just go see for yourself. You'll be glad you did♥

Love

2010-03-01T11:36:00.003-06:00

I was reading my friend Carols blog and was struck by what she had to say about "loving one another".

Several years ago someone suggested to me to substitute my name for the word love in verses 4-7 of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. (which looks something like this)

pamela is patient (sometimes)
pamela is kind (usually)
pamela does not envy or boast (me? nevah)
pamela is not arrogant or rude (guilty as charged)
pamela does not insist on her own way (ditto)
pamela is not irritable or resentful (thats me before 10 am AND caffeine)
pamela does not rejoice at wrongdoing (ouch)
pamela rejoices at the truth (yes i do)

as i write these words, i am convicted by how far i've come and by how very far i still have to go.
i am so very thankful that :

Love bears all things.
Love believes all things.
Love hopes all things
Love endures all things.

LOVE NEVER ENDS.

New Friends

2010-02-28T22:41:00.002-06:00

I'd like to introduce you to one of my new friends. Her name is Danielle and she blogs over at The Design Girl.

Danielle is doing a fabulous giveaway that you have to check out. You can go here for the details and the ways to enter.

The gig is up tonight so you'll want to do this NOW! Go on. Check it out. You'll be glad you did♥

Finally Finished

2010-02-27T18:09:00.004-06:00

It is finished.

The boxes packed.

The men and trucks arrived.

The furniture has been moved.

The old place is gone.

The new place is now called Home.

Burdens have been lifted.

Prayers have been answered.

Hope has been made new.

Are these just thoughts about a move to a new physical address, or do they have a deeper meaning and context within our hearts?

When God Show's up, He Show's up BIG!

2010-02-22T20:25:00.003-06:00

God provided an apartment for *Sally today.

God Provided 8 or so men and trucks to move Sally to said apartment.

God provided His hands and feet, ready and willing ,with open hearts and minds, ready to find a way to provide financial backing for above mentioned apartment.

God has provided many, many, many members of His body, who have come forth in prayer and petition, for *Sally for her gargantuan physical, spiritual and emotional needs.

God's people have shown up in amazing ways. Nate Loucks, James Conlin, Dave Woodson and the folks at Statestreet.tv. Kevin & Sue Prybylla, Norm & Jeanne Losiniecki , the folks at mscwired.org and Crystal Renaud of Dirty Girls Ministries. Thank you soooo much♥for your prayers, direction, donations and LOVE!

When God show's up, He show's up BIG!

Oh, How I Love Ambien!

2010-02-19T22:56:00.004-06:00

So here's the thing. I have a sleep disorder. Its called "ifidon'tgetsleepi'mgonnagetdisorderly", and I take ambien at bedtime so that I can sleep.

Protocol is that one should take said medication, lay down in bed and prepare to sleep.

I've never been one for following the rules. (why should i start now, Right?)

Wrong!

Ambien is an amnesiac and when one takes it and does anything besides go to bed, one tends not to remember the events. Like writing blog posts.

This can be a good thing or this can be a not so good thing. The scary thing is finding out that one has written who knows what, tweeted about said post and asked friends to read said post and RT. ALL WHILE HAVING ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION AT ALL ABOUT IT.

So. I guess my lesson is to FOLLOW THE RULEZZzzzzzz.........

THANK YOU!

2010-02-18T22:22:00.006-06:00

WOW!

I just have to say THANK YOU!

Thank you to the Church.
To the Body.
The hands and feet of Christ who have so overwhelmingly and wholeheartedly and generously and WOW, opened their hearts and lives to *Sally.

To BE the Church and to love Her home.
To redemption.
To the arms of Jesus.

i am humbled
thank you.

James 2:14-17

2010-02-17T23:50:00.010-06:00

Ok. So. I'm just a wee bit bothered by THE Church. You know THE Church. The IN crowd. The cool kids. The leadership. The folks who get to decide who in the *Church* is deserving of "assistance" and who isn't.

There is a gal who is a *member* of my Church, but not a regular attender. Not one of the *cool* kids, or *the* group (ifyaknowwhatimean), any how, *Sally had breast cancer that was in remission. Found out several weeks ago that the cancer is back, it is in her spine and pelvis. Through circumstances beyond her control, She is being evicted from her home, her roof is falling in on it & has not had heat for three months (the furnace has been out). Sally is likely going to pass sooner rather than later.

Another member of our Church, a regular attender, not really a cool kid, but a servant of God, with a servants heart, went to one of the pastors of the Church to see what could be done. To see if a special offering could be collected as had been done in the past for others in similar situations. This person was told that at the risk of sounding cold hearted, "no" and that "in these economic times that they could not put the gold bowls out for anyone". When this member mentioned that *Sally would definitely be considered one of the least of these and that their family was supporting her, the member was told their family should be *wise* about such things".

I have to say first off that Haiti is very near and dear to my heart. I spent time there as a teenager on a mission trip in 1985. It changed me forever. I love the country and her people. However, how can you collect thousands of dollars for relief aid for people in another country, when you have a member of your OWN that is dying before your eyes and you are not willing to try and help. In your OWN Community. One of your OWN sisters.

The prominent thought in the verses noted above that really sticks out to me is this:

15. Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed", but does NOTHING about his physical needs, WHAT GOOD IS IT?

Anybody else have any thoughts or feelings on the subject?

*Sally's name has been changed for her protection.

**I am in no way genetically related to *Sally. I AM proud to call her a sister in CHRIST.

***for CLARIFICATION purposes, *Sally referred to in this post is not the same Sally reffered to in previous posts. K. we good. alright♥

WOW!

2010-02-04T15:33:00.008-06:00

WOW. wowie. wow. wow. WOW.

Is it just me, or did the last month just FLY by? I can't be sure where the time went, but here's a quick rundown of what i've been up to. are you ready? ok. lets go.

1.) have had 2 surgical procedures on my back. (eeks)

2.) have had 4 Pampered Chef shows. qualified as a consultant. (yay)

3.) peak tax season is back in full swing. (yay & eeks)

4.) started new Interchange session at CCC. (yay)

5.) got my computer replaced. (yay. yay. yay.)

6.) started attending the knitting/crochet group "Love Covers"

and among these things that have been a part of my daily routine, there have been many dramatic things happen in the world around me or with and to the people i love.

1.) earthquake in Haiti

2.) my good friend Becky's father passed away.

3.) my good friend Sheree lost her job.

4.) my friend Sally had surgery today for cancer.

5.) my sister Jenny is having ongoing chemo.

6.) Sally's son Jim had a heart attack and surgery.

even though it seems as if all of this bad news should be a reason for sadness and depression, my friends and i are hopeful. we are thankful. we are joy filled. we are resting in the comfort of our creators arms. we are blessed. we have faith that tomorrow will be a better day. how do we know this, you ask? cuz Jesus told us. how do you say WOW!

p.s. in a day or 2 i'll give you a rundown on how my book adventure is going♥ "Living Life In The Zone" by Rote & Pettigrew.

p.s.s. Please PRAY for my friend Anne as she and a group of pastors and missionaries head to Haiti to assess the needs of the people, and to love them and be the hands and feet of Christ. Anne has training in crisis intervention and is a pastor herself. She is an amazing person with a huge heart for the poor, marginalized and under "everything" people of this world. I am privileged to call her friend.

A New Day

2010-01-04T13:28:00.006-06:00

In Honor of the New Year and the resolutions that normally go with it, I've decided to challenge myself in new and exciting ways along those same lines:

1. I will be reading and reviewing books for Thomas Nelson as a Book Review Blogger. I. am. so. excited! Can't wait to get my first selection, "Living Life In The Zone: A 40-Day Spiritual Guide For Men", and dig in. You're probably wondering why a chick is reviewing a spiritual study for men, right? Well...I have 3 sons, I work with the teens at church, and I want to be able to recommend an honest and relevant guide to them as they grow and mature.

2. Try and be in (and OF) the Word more consistently. Like my friend Joshua writes in his awesomesauce post "I Am Batman", "I would rather read a book by Donald Miller or Rick McKinley or Rob Bell or Mark Driscoll than read my Bible." Kinda sad.

3. I want to be healthy. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. Relationally. Whatever that means for me. Whatever it takes. PERIOD!

I really don't like resolutions. I feel like its setting yourself up for failure. I do like Donald Millers idea of living a better story. I don't know about you, but I think maybe that's the ticket for me.

Here's to a better story in 2010♥
Peace, Love & Joy

Life Changes

2009-12-11T22:13:00.003-06:00

As most of you know by now, Mom and my uncle Norm (aka "Mater") were married on October 19, 2009. It was a small, intimate ceremony attended by 4/10 of their cumulative children. One of those attendees is Jennifer. Jennifer is 43, and has been battling cancer in one form or another for a decade or more now. Most recently, stage 3 ovarian, since august of 2007. while attending chemo treatments several times a week. Her counts have been good for awhile, giving us great hope that the new protocol was working, until yesterday we found that it had stopped and the #of cells in blood was increasing again. bad news. new treatment protocol starting Monday. chemo 3 times a week. I ask that you lift my sister jenny up in prayer. prayer for healing. prayer for peace. prayer for comfort. prayer for concerns financially-whats going to happen with her insurance. so many unknowns right now.

thank you all so much for you time and effort. if you would like to leave an encouraging message for jenny, i would be happy for forward them to her.
Peace, love & His LOVE♥
Pamela

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors (and other words of wisdom I wish someone would have shared with me when I first married my husband)

2009-08-13T17:16:00.004-05:00

August is a busy month for our family. Lots of anniversaries. The 4Th would have been my Aunt Joyce and Uncle Norm's 47Th, the 7Th would have been my grandma and grandpa Henckel's 68Th, the 13Th (today) is my brother Chuck and sil Kellie's 15Th, also Aunt Patti and Uncle Kenny's 5Th. You would think that is enough to make everyone go broke, but there are more yet...the 14Th would have been Aunt Laura and Uncle Frank's 48Th, the 25Th would have been my sister Missy and bil Leroy's 20Th, the 28Th would have been our parents 44Th, and last but not least, the 31st will be (unfortunately-likely our last) my husband and I's 18Th anniversary.(that's an entirely different post unto itself ♥)

Some of these marriages have ended due to death of one of the parties involved, others due to divorce. Others are still going strong. When I look at the success stories, and I think about the things I have learned from my own experiences, and I think about our Pastor at church, John, and his fiance', Melissa, who are going to be wed on this Saturday and then I think about all the things I wish I had known or that someone had told me BEFORE the big day, I know that Me, being Me, I have to impart these little bits of wisdom from the school of "been there...done that"!

so here goes:

1. Good fences make good neighbors- This is a biggie. Huge. When you and your spouse get into a disagreement...(which you will) DO NOT...i repeat...DO NOT...go to your parents & family with the trouble. Now, I'm sure you're asking "what could be the harm in that?" Let me tell you...you and Fifi have an argument over how to correctly fold the underwear or which way the toilet paper goes on the holder, you get angry, have a big blow up...words are exchanged...you go to your folks...she goes to hers. You both tell your "side" of the story (cuz thats what we do) then you go home and make up and forget about it. Meanwhile, your folks and her folks don't. Five years from now they're still holding on to the hurt and anguish that "you" caused their child. I know you might be thinking "you're kidding me, right?" NOPE! Been there, done that...for 18 long, long years....with many, many t-shirts, mugs, visors, etc...with some very petty, trivial issues as well as some far more serious. Either way, if you need someone to talk to (other than prayer) a wise and trustworthy friend is a much better choice.

2. Love is a verb not a feeling- Lets face it...for most of the worlds population, the honeymoon eventually period wears off and reality sets in. Especially for those who choose to take the biblical and purity route and not live together before the marriage. Most men are NOT prince charming and most women are NOT Cinderella. Unfortunately, society does not do any of us a favor by perpetuating this fantasy life that quickly becomes a non reality for most. We snore, pass gas, leave the cap off the toothpaste (or squeeze it in the middle). Some leave wet towels on the bathroom floor, some folks have to have copious amounts of caffeine before being semi approachable and heaven forbid...some of us even have *gasp* morning breath. We have to choose to love people in spite of things that might annoy us. If I am the personality type that can get up in the morning and be alert, alive, able to function and think, but my husband needs an hour and a shower to go through his routine before he is functional, then I have to honor that, give him the space he needs and not take it personally. Its not always about me.

3. Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition-it is a 100-100. We have to give 100 % all the time to our spouses. There are going to be times that you are going to have to compromise. The question you have to ask yourself in those times is..."Is this going to effect my morals, self esteem or the law?" If not, and its a matter of pride, or tradition, then you really have to consider it and consider whether the issue is worth alienating your spouse or potentially causing division in your marriage over. There are going to be times that one or the other is going to have to put in more effort to balance the scales...either due to illness, a job, a family commitment. Whatever the case may be, it should not be that its "always" one person putting in 200%, and I have found that it cycles. Very rarely have we both been 100% at the same time. At times its been him giving 136% and me 64% (like when I had Joseph via C-section...small stuff) or me giving 189% and him 11 % (post double bypass surgery...BIG stuff) again, either way you go, you balance the scales and pick up the slack to keep everyone working together for greater good of the family. If you remember the saying "I am second" in reference to your spouse as well as Christ, your relationship will go a lot farther.

4. Husbands-Do not tell you wives " this doesn't taste like my mom's does!"

5. Wives- Do not tell your husbands "your not my father!"

6. Finally...Matthew 19:5-6 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." This makes me think about two things...the first being that the context of these verses are in relation to divorce and how God feels about that. You cannot go into a marriage with the big "D" being an option...a "safety" if you will. God is very specific about that. I understand about certain situations and grace, buh-leeeve me...i reeaaaally do. But as one feller I once heard say "you have to earn" that option. You have to fight with every thing that is within you for however long it takes, before that's an option. (Unless there are certain circumstances and those are between you and God)(and if safety of yourself or a child is an issue)

And now that I've offended most of the free world, I'm sure you're all very anxious to know what my second thought is on this passage...

well here it is...

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors and that boundaries within the family can make or break the best of marriages. Also, its imperative that we make our spouse feel like they are always our number one priority...especially in relation to our family and friends.

Sending "Congratulations" to Chuck and Kellie on 15 years together and "Best Wishes" to John and Melissa on their up coming wedding Saturday.

Peace ♥

Banana Splits, Bible Studies and Life Changes

2009-04-26T13:04:00.005-05:00

Okay, so I know you're wondering," what in the world does banana splits have to do with bible studies and changing lives?" Well, I'm so glad you asked. My Dad was a minister and a missionary to Scotland. I'm sure you 're asking yourself "what's so amazing about that?" Well my Dad did not become a christian until 1970, and the only reason he agreed to attend a bible study with my mom was because they were serving banana splits, his all-time fave dessert. He started attending the study on a regular basis, and church, and was baptized soon after. It was the banana split that attracted him, but God that kept him there. Unfortunately, as happens with many of us, he strayed from the flock. He would return and leave again many times over the years. He would struggle with alcoholism and child abuse issues.

My grandpa was an Alcoholic. An illness that my father also suffered. Don't get me wrong, neither dad nor grandpa were a mean drunk. Quite the opposite. They were both the life of the party. Grandpa drank his 6 pack a day and I don't remember him being mean or ugly. When I was in 8Th grade grandpa suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. A few months prior to that we had begun attending church again on a regular basis. I remember the last time I saw grandpa was at my baptism, September 25, 1982.

As it happened, dads company announced it was closing in the spring. Dad had felt the call to ministry for many years, but had run as hard and fast in the opposite direction as he could, using every excuse he could find to not answer it. " I have to support my family" "I'm too old to go back to school" "I didn't graduate high school" and so on.... Needless to say the excuses were no longer valid. He now had a nice severance package and quite a bit of free time on his hands. So in the spring of 1983, Dad and Mom travelled to Joplin, MO to the campus of Ozark Christian College to check out the campus, purchased a trailer on the campus and enrolled as freshmen for the fall semester. Little did they know how much our lives were about to change. Dad quit drinking completely...cold turkey...never again took a swallow...same thing with the smokes...he was done. It was that simple. Once he had finally made the decision. He trusted that God would get him through. Mom did not have so easy a time quiting smoking. Satan really worked her over...had nightmares that she drove to the store in the middle of the night...naked...and bought cigs...yea...not an easy time for her. But God was faithful and she did get through it. Now having a family of 6 living in a 10x60 trailer with a room added on was an absolute matter of trust, faith, and anything else you can think of. I was a freshman in High School, Terri was senior, Chuck was in 6Th grade and Missy was in 4Th. There was absolutely no privacy. No place to call your own, no place you could go to just get away and think or be still. No place for Mom and Dad to study, except the kitchen table, which was tiny, and if someone was sitting at it you could not walk through there to get to the bathroom or the bedrooms. It could get very frustrating. It was also a time of fun and connection and closeness. The campus had a beautiful wooded area with 3 crosses and benches that you could go and meditate at, that I found a great place to be still and just be able to get away.

Terri moved into the dorm the next year when she started as a freshman at OCC. She went on to graduate with a bachelor of biblical literature. Dad graduated with a bachelor of theology and Mom graduated with a certificate of biblical literature and certificate of missionary computer technology. I regret that I chose not to attend OCC. I don't stew over it and let Satan steal my joy...maybe one day I'll go back. I had some of the most amazing times of my life there.

When I think about the time we spent at OCC, and think about all the people I have met and the impact they have had on my life, it just astounds me....then I remember how it all started with banana splits and a bible study.

Friends

2009-03-29T23:16:00.003-05:00

I cannot believe how blessed I am to have such amazing friends. I have several that are truly an inspiration to me. They make me laugh, cry, give me perspective and clarity. I know God is amazing and has truly blessed me with these wonderful people in my life.

I am gonna name a few...and I am gonna say they are in absolutely NO particular order:).

There is Greg. I met him when I was in the hospital and he took excellent care of me. Very compassionate and caring, funny and charming. I just thought to myself...What a doll! Then when Aunt Jojo got sick and was admitted to the same floor, Greg helped us to care for her. He treated Joyce like she was family. I'm not sure he'll ever know what a comfort that was. I recently found out why he is so compassionate...its because he has been there. He took care of his father when he was ill and until he passed away. It made Greg decide to completely change his profession from the finance arena to nursing...we are so much better for that choice.

Lets chat about Deanna...I have known her for about 6 years. We met at a ladies bible study when I first moved to the St. Louis area. She was so sweet and friendly...even though she was very pregnant with Syd and it was summer and she was obviously very physically uncomfortable. I love how Deanna touches so many people through both her career as a nurse and her ministry in the praise band. She truly sings like an angel. She is such a present and loving parent. Even if she has to be away physically for her job, She is there mentally and emotionally for her girls...available via cell phone, email or Facebook. To quote her "How sweet is that?" Something not often seen in this day and age...a parent who is there for their child when it counts.

I've known Sheree since I was in 7th grade. (I know I'm telling on myself, but that's 27 years) I consider her one of my oldest(OK...most longevity...not chronological) and dearest friends. I lost track of her for many years and recently caught up with her via the magic of Facebook. It was like we were never apart. She is one of the kindest, most loving and encouraging people I know. She loves her Mom, is very loyal to her friends and dog (Zach the square dog), and just a joy to be around. AND she knows how to use power tools...always a plus when you don't have a man around the house:).

Then we have Kelley and Jennifer. Two of the most interesting and adventurous gals I know. They love the Lord and Live. Loud. Period. They strive to be the change they want to see in the world. I love that about them. They love people where they are at...I don't think I have ever heard a judgemental word come out of either one of them. I met Jennifer at the same ladies bible study that I met Deanna at. Kelley and I started attending MSC about the same time. I really can't recall how we met, but she is always sweet and funny and kind. I have links to their blogs...awesome reads...both of them. Smart, funny and Christ-centered . (oh...and both of these gals sing, too)( I so admire that...I sang in choir...not the praise band...and not likely to happen either)

Last, but certainly not least, is Kelly, my sister in law. She and I think so much alike so much of the time its almost scary. Kelly and I have been together and laughed...just laughed...so hard that my sides hurt for days. OMW...the day of Trevor's birthday party...she and I in the bouncy house....laughed so hard we could not get up...could not get out...I was ruined for a week. I am so surprised that video did not turn up on Youtube or Funniest Home Videos.( thanks Matt) We just have so much fun. I love that I can tell her anything and she isn't going to judge me. I love that she and Chuck allow me to pick Trevor up from school one day a week. I missed so much of his early life because I lived so far away. It is such a blessing to me to have them in my life in such a huge way. And on top of all that, to be able to worship with them on a weekly basis in the same congregation...its just amazing. I just wish that my two sisters could be there every week as well.

I'm really not sure how I got so lucky to have such wonderful and amazing friends. I just hope that I am as good a friend to them as they are to me. They set the bar pretty high.

Love you All:).

Aunt Joyce

2009-02-24T19:03:00.008-06:00

At 3:30 this afternoon, My aunt Joyce went home to be with our Lord and Savior. I was there, at the hospital, in her room, holding her hand, when her soul left her earthly shell. At her side was her husband of 46 years, Norm, My mom (her sister), Aunt Susie (another sister), her son Bobby, and her granddaughter Theresa. This is not the first passing I have been witness to. It was the most beautiful. Norm held her face in his hands, and as we prayed and told her it was okay to go home to Jesus, he looked her in her vacant eyes and said " as much as I love you, sweet pea, Jesus loves you more, run to him". and she did.

Joyce was one of the most loving, accepting, and gracious people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She knew what it meant to love people where they are at, as Christ loves us. She was non-judgemental and forgiving. She served our Lord for as long as I can remember and the number of people that visited her during the short period of time that she was ill was a testament to that.

Norm and Joyce have raised 6 beautiful and loving children, Bobby, twins Maureen and Michelle, Jenny and twins Christine and David, as well as 2 grandchildren, Lauren and Zachary. They also have 12 more grandchildren, Tim, Tiffany, Theresa, Tina, Ramon, Brittney, Courtney, Tyler, Emily, Bradley, Megan, and Austin. They have 3 great grandchildren, Brandon, Orion and Addyson. One grandson, Ethan, went home to be with our Lord shortly after his birth. The love and closeness this family shares is also a testament to this couples love for each other and for our Heavenly Father.

Aunt Joyce was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday February 10, 2009 with a diagnosis of a possible slight stroke and they were treating her for pneumonia. On the following day an MRI was performed and a tumor was found encroaching on her spinal cord. It was diagnosed as cancer that same day and a radiation treatment was performed immediately. On Friday afternoon we were told that she likely had days to live and to have the family come. On Sunday, all of her children, grandchildren and living siblings were present at her bedside to say their goodbyes. (lots of nieces, nephews, inlaws and outlaws as well) On the following Wednesday she was changed to palliative care, all meds(with the exception of the ones for pain management) were discontinued, and only the family was allowed in her room. All in all, it was a total of 14 days from the date she was admitted to the hospital until the day she passed. Even though she was in agonizing physical pain, she did not complain or fuss. She did not cause drama or make any scenes. She ministered to us. She worried about us. She wanted to make sure WE were right with the Lord and raising our families to love Him as much as she did. That was her way. She was an amazing woman and she is my role model. Rest in Peace Aunt Jojo. Even though you will be gone from this world, you will never be far from our thoughts and never forgotten.

ABC's of My Favs....

2009-01-26T21:27:00.005-06:00

Apple slices
Aqua Shine wax
Blogs
Baking
Bath and Body Works
Carmex
Clarks shoes
Cookies
CSI Miami
Comedy
Chuck
Dogs
Drama
Daughtry
David Letterman
D:Fi D:Struct hair spray
Eggo waffles
Emma
Faith
Friends
Family (everyone else I could not mention)
Goodness
Goodwill Boutique
Gerbera Daisies
Greys Anatomy
German Chocolate Cake
Hugs
Hope
Home
Harry Connick Jr
Handbags
Ice Cream (prailine pecan)
Jokes
Janette Oke
James Patterson
Kellie
Kissing
Kindness
Kenny Chesney
Laughing
Love
Mom
Missy
Matthew West
Mark Roach
Marshalls
Mexican Food
Max Lucado
Michael Buble'
Make up
New Balance Tennies
Numbers (as in digits)
Oscar the Grouch
Plain White Tees (the group)
Peace
Patience
Pink (singer and the color)
Pizza
Private Practice
Patricia Cornwell
People magazine
Pravana color
Quilts
Ralph Lauren Romance
Sketchers
Shopping
Shi by Alfred Sung
Singing
Salvation Army Store
Sara Bareilles
Socks (all colors, textures and styles)
The "Brothers"
Terri Kay
Trevor
Twitter
Tax Law
Tom Cavanaugh
The Mentalist
TJ Maxx
The Fray
Uniforms (and the men in them)
Vases of flowers
Vavoom take me higher root lift
Winter
Xrays
You Tube
Yahoo
Yogurt
Zoology
Zebras
Zoning out

25 Random Things About Me....

2009-01-25T19:20:00.003-06:00

I posted this on Facebook and decide to follow my friend Deanna's lead and post it here as well.

1. I've found my parents are a lot smarter now that I'm 40 than I thought they were when I was 16.
2. Absolutely NOTHING is more important than family. (after God of course)
3. I do not own a car, home, or anything else that is a tangible sign of success, yet I have never been happier. I truly believe the more you have the more you want. Its enough that I have what I NEED!
4. I love all things pink:). Handbags, clothes, straws....you get the idea.
5. Baking is as intrinisic to my soul as being a child of God is. Its therapeutic for me. It is something I can start and finish and see the results of my efforts almost immediately.
6. I wll read just about anything. I Heart going to the library and once I find an author that intrigues me, I will read their entire collection of work. Jeanette Oke, Patricia Cornwell, James patterson, Robin Cook, Max Lucado, and Stephenie Meyer are among my Favs.
7. I lived on the campus of Ozark Christian College when I was in High School. I did not appreciate that advantage nearly as much then as I do now. I have had the opportunity to fellowship with some of the most prolific christian people in the world.
8. I am completely and utterly in love with my sons.(AKA The Brothers) I did not think it was possible to love anyone as much as I love them. (I still can't get over the fact that A.M. is a sophomore in HS and in Drivers Ed.)( Really, I'm too young for that)
9. If I had the opportunity to have a "do over" in life, there is very little I would do differently. Its all the stuff in life that I have been through that makes me, me.
10. I am a huge fan of PJ's. not so much of nighties.
11. I still sleep with the same blankie I have had since I was in 2nd grade and not the least bit ashamed of it. It reminds me of the suits Dad used to wear when I was little and would sit in church and rub the corners of his jacket tween my fingers. I really miss him:(.
12. I could seriously eat mexican food every day of the week! Chevys and Hacienda are my favs...El maguey and El Bra are close followers.
13. I cannot stand to eat jelly, cooked spinach, greens, or fish:). I am not real adventurous with trying new foods, unless I'm the one preparing it:). (could that be a control issue? hmmm...)
14. I love technology. Am completely and totally addicted to Facebook, Twitter, and blogging! (specially reading my friends blogs)
15. I have to have Diet Coke on a daily basis. I get the DT's really bad if I don't...its serious.
16. Music is essential. All genres (cept maybe not so much rap) Music takes me to places I've been, people I've known and where I want to be.
17. I want a man to love me, just as I am, warts and all, and treat me like a queen. Like I am the smartest, funniest, most beautiful person he knows. I want a man who loves Christ more than he loves me.
18. I have a very demented sense of humor...I find the funny in most things in life. Sometimes its probably not appropriate, but I jsut can't help it! Oh...and I cannot type the word jsut....
19. I have to participate in life. i can't jsut sit back and watch. Its who I am.
20. I am a fruitloop in a world of cheerios.
21. I used to model wedding gowns and formal attire when I was in jr high.
22. I feel more pretty now, at 40 , than I ever did at 20. I've grown into my skin and realized its way more about whats inside than what I look like outside.
23. My favorite song ever is "More" by Matt West. closely followed by "Something to Say" by the same.
24. The best concert I've ever been witness to is "Behold the Lamb of God" by Andrew Peterson and friends. Bar none the tops!
25. I've been kissed by David Coverdale of Whitesnake fame.
25.1. I am a child of God. Nothing in THIS world will ever top that:).

blip fm

2009-01-18T20:31:00.001-06:00

Check out the fun at blip fm. Interesting site. Say it with words and music:).

Just working it out

2008-12-31T20:47:00.005-06:00

Thanks for bearing with me:). My Techno Geek sister Terri is totally awesome and figured out how to embed a link. Yea! She Rocks!!! So now I won't look like such a nerd when I blog and want to link! I am soooooo excited!!! (doesn't take much, I know)

You can follow me on Twitter and Facebook, also.

Anyway, I got my New Years wish. Thanks T. Have a good one all you out here in cyberland, and be safe:).

Things I Can't Live Without

2008-12-30T22:18:00.010-06:00

So I've been pondering for awhile now what I had to say next as its almost a new year. What really matters to me in life? I will say this is not going to be your typical New Years resolution list.

These are the things in life that I MUST have to sustain me. Much like the air I breathe. So here goes:

Jesus Christ
Faith
The Brothers(Allen-Michael, Joshua, and Joseph)
My Fam(Mom, Terri, Missy and Chuck)(ALL of the nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, cousins, in-laws and out-laws, one and all)
Friends ( the 2 Kell's(Henckel and Hartnett) Mike and Dede, Ted and Ange, Jennifer, Kimmy, Alicia, Lynda, Leigh, the 2 Shell's(Crockett and Vanderford) All those that I neglected to mention, you know the usual suspects, forgive me)
Hope
Love
Integrity
Honesty
Trust
Music(LOVE Matthew West, Mark Roach, Jill Phillips, Chris Rice, the Andrews(Peterson and Gullahorn) David Cook, Daughtry, Bebo Norman, ( I could probably fill the entire page if I continue naming names)
Church Family(both near and far)
Blogs-Blue Is A Circle, And That's Just Today, Mark Roach Music, Accordion Me (they keep me humble, entertained, enlightened and usually really make me laugh!)
Sunshine
Diet Coke
Baskin Robbins Straws(they're PINK)
Cookies (you can tell that one, can't ya?)
Good Movies
Books (the Bible goes without saying)
A Great Tweet! ( Big shout out to Kelley and Julie-You'll never know how you guys keep me going throughout the day)
A Great Mattress ( at the end of the day, its a most welcome retreat- I do my best thinking there)(at least I didn't say the toilet)
MSC TV- Stepping Down (SO AWESOME)(advise you check out all the videos there)

So there you have it...My must haves! (at least the ones I can think of at this moment. I'm sure I'll think of more after I post:). )

Thanks for hanging with me and letting me share my thoughts. I appreciate your patience as I learn how to do this blog thing! You Rock!

Happy New Year!

Depression...Post Partum and Otherwise

2008-10-25T15:35:00.003-05:00

I suffer from depression. I have for longer than I can remember. It seems like it started about the time I had my eldest son. I really have had to fight it since then. Sometimes its better than others, but it seems like nothing I (and the pharmaceutical companies) do, it remains.

Where does post partum depression end and clinical depression begin? From all that I've read, at about a year post baby. So when did I go from PPD to depression? I can't answer that either.

Does this mean that I don't trust God enough? Does it mean that I don't have enough faith? Does it mean that I am not doing the right things? I don't think so. I know that most depression is a result of a biochemical reaction in the brain. Much like diabetes is a biochemical problem with the pancreas. I know that hormone fluctuations can play a big part in how we feel. Even knowing all of this, I still somehow feel that I am a failure or that its my fault. I did something to deserve this. I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I am in this situation or that I have to take medication for it.

One thing I do know is that I am a child of God and that I am made in His image. I also know that He promises to not give us more than we can handle. I have learned that I have to let go and give God control. There is very little I can control, with exception to my own choices. I cannot worry enough to keep my kids safe, or my husband and I from splitting. If anything, worry causes sin. Worry causes us to think we know more than God. I would also go further to say it is a form of conceit. To quote C.S. Lewis, "If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed". So I guess that in all transparency, I am definitely conceited.

So the question is...how much can I handle? I may never know, but evidently as long as God is in control of my life, I can handle anything. I am also finding that if I think more about Him and the people around me, I have a lot less time to think about how I feel or how I think things should be.

I know there is a balance between medication and faith. Add to that a willingness to let go, I can live with this quite productively.

I love my family

2008-10-15T00:24:00.000-05:00

I sooo love my family! My mom and sister Terri rock. They totally put up with me and I am not always as nice as I could be. I have health issues that make it hard to work full time. Somedays I can't even manage to do anything but go to work and then to bed. Still they love me and encourage me to keep going. Then there is my brother and sister in law. We have so much fun together. He sends me funny emails everyday that make me smile. She and I act completely silly when we are together. I am so grateful to God for repairing our relationship. MY brother, sister in law, and myself did not speak for the better part of 10 years. God was able to bring us together again and I am so very blessed to have them in my life. They have the cutest kids ever. I spend every weds afternoon with my nephew. We have all kinds of fun. going to the library, or the park. maybe get an ice cream cone. Then theres my other sister and her family. Unfortunately they live in another state( and state of mind). She and Terri and my s-i-l, as well as myself and Mom, always find some kind of trouble to get into. The kids always give us lively entertainment.

I haven't even talked about my kiddoes. The "brothers" are the best. I miss them so much. They live in MO with their Dad. The reasons are important and I know they are where they need to be right now. It doesn't make it easy for any of us, but who knows what the future will bring and if the boys are stable and want to live here in IN with me, we will make those changes when the time is right.

I have a huge extended family. My mom was one of nine and my dad was one of seven. I really am not sure how many cousins, and second cousins I have. I am close to most of my aunts and uncles on my moms side and several on my dads. I see many of my moms side at church and we all visit alot. I talk to several on my dads side on a regular basis, but don't get to see them as often as I'd like.

One thing is for sure, you can always count on family. For a hug or a smile. For prayers and wisdom. even fior a meal now and then;-)

Thank you Lord for my family. Please bless them and keep them.